Ah quiet. Peace and cicadas chirping. I can hear the heat laying itself around me. This is Christmas time. You can tell the single people are still in bed. You can just feel their slumber.

Will has his 'motorbike men' and even a motorbike mouse action figure too. Charlotte got her 'bling-bling' Barbie car,.......and Will has given motorbike mouse a ride in it. He got his action figure to ask Barbie very politely for a ride in 'yors BIG SHINY car!'.
Rob got a book, and shirts, and deoderant. :)
I got shirts, and a new ironing board cover.
You know, I really wanted a new ironing board cover, and it came all the way from England for me. Hows that eh? It has roses on it.

We've had prawns and salad yesterday, a sit on the swing chair and a swig of chardonnay. Rob and I commented to each other how nice it was to be just sitting around and enjoying the christmas eve day. It's the first time in years that we have been able to do this. Rob and I worked in the hotel industry, so this was always a busy day. Then he worked for a bottle shop, then he worked as a guard for a shopping centre, and always had to go and lock up etc.
NONE of THAT this year.

Ahhhhhhhhhh. *big deep breath and hitch of the waistband*
How's the Serenity then?

Hope you all have at least some time to wind down and slurp something delicious over the holiday season.
Love and Light to All. :)

The Music of Cubes

Part of my brain spider is the interest one leg has in Sacred Geometry.
I was looking at the study of Cymatics, the way sound waves produce physical pattern, and was intrigued to find out that the only Hebrew and Sanskrit languages actually produce the symbol for their vowel sounds when put through the technique for producing physical representations of sound waves. Totally cool.
So anyway, back to brain spider and research as one does.... and I come across a link that is about the whole 'Da Vinci Code' phenomena and I nearly just clicked away again but for a small little thing that caught my eye. The Rosslyn Chapel and a sacred geometry link due to the actual architecture of the place. That actually caught my eye, the link between the architecture and sound, via the study of Cymatics that I'd just been researching.

Here's the link to listen to the music 'of the architecture' inside the Rosslyn Chapel. It's very lovely. Close your eyes and you will fly.

Lots of Love from Chinut

http://www.crystalinks.com/music_cubes.html

Been and Gone

That's sort of like stating the names of my two best friends. Oddly enough, I like things to end. It gives me a sense that something has happened.

Recently we had a situation where the planets were all 'moving' forward at the same time for a whole seventeen days. I thought of the energy in the cosmos that would be around at such a time, and immediately I got a sense of 'progression'. (d'uh) I used this time period to really focus on what I wanted to achieve in the future, what I wanted to release from the past etc., and it was a very positive and cathartic thing to do.

I did a collage of all my desires, wants, and wishes etc. I was looking at it today with resignation that it represents more work to be done. I don't mind at all.....but it was like looking at photos from a great holiday and realising that it will take another year of saving to repeat the performance and feel that way again.
Resigned yet hopefull.

+ perhaps its this waning moon. I feel the tide going out and don't know if the feeling comes from a kind of relief that there is a 'low tide' to the energy, or, if I'm kind of sad about all the little fishies swimming away......

Happiness is a rice paper wall hanging

Happiness is a rice paper wall hanging. It's true.

I 're-did', 'feng-shuied', 'space-cleared' and otherwise re-arranged 'The Land of Spare-Oom' on Sunday. It was a beautiful thing. Once complete, I had floor space up the wahzoo, an tangible grasp on the contents of ALL shelves and drawers, a realisation that my husband has WAY too many long sleeved shirts, and that I am still hording shyte,...but on a magnitude that bears no resemblence to previous efforts during the years.
So I finished of the fait accompli with a rice paper wall hanging over the head of the bed. (it's got purple and gold butterflies whirling around leafy representations, truly gorgeous)

After the last vacuuming had been done, I sat there, staring out to my trees, searching the cloud clad sky for some stray clues to the meaning of life, and listened to Tori singing 'Crazy' to me. She is really so very lovely.

The Complexity of Movement....

Did a workshop today at the Gaurunga Meditation Centre in Brisbane. Fab.

We did a section of the workshop exploring Qigong or 'chi gung'. Fab also.

Couldn't believe how unco I am. :)

We attempted this one sequence called 'The Shaolin Archer', which involved some slide movement, some rounding energy ball movement, and some strong stretch movement with purposeful hand positions. Great, if you're slightly co-ordinated, which I thought I was. But I'm not yet. :)
The instructor for the morning session was this lovely guy called 'Sean', who is also an accupuncturist and does Chinese Herbal Medicine. (he plays the guitar and does his chanting mantra sort of groovy-like) He's also married to an impossibly beautiful girl, which he deserved, as he comes across as an entirely lovely lovely lovely MAN.
Anyway. I also couldn't do the arms revolving in different directions thing, which I KNOW I've been able to do before.

I was very good at the Yoga Nidra, and the nostril breathing and the chanting. (even got a compliment about my 'lovely voice' from one of the newbies, bless) You can count on me to relax and sing nicely. I'm there baby. Just don't expect me to do the whole psuedo martial art poses very effectively,...because I'm unco at the mo'.

My dear friend Michelle accompanied me to the day of meditation and exploration of various 'chi moving' modalites. We had a great time. Did some Thai massage on each other. She was so very respectful of the pressure she used because I'd been involved in a car accident on Monday. Unfortunately I respond to pain quite well so I was left feeling less than fulfilled by her Thai massage attempt.
I gave it to her full strength though. She's in good health. :)

...one more time with feeling....:)

Prayer Wheel

'Om Mani Padme Hum'

can be translated as, 'out of the deepest mud grows the most beautiful lotus'

Many Blessings to you all.

like, just,....ewwwwwwwww

Like now I know why I'm just so not into going to the Doctor's and all that.
I went to an appointment today, hoping that the question could be resolved about my state of pregnancy, or not. So I rock up there for the expected tummy prod and urination test. Uh uh. I get the urination test thing, negative, and then she says, "I vill jost du a qvick enternil tu jeck vhar yr yoooteruz iz".

Zah wah??! Right. Fine. Just do it and let me out of here. Daks down. Internal done. ewwwwwwwww. just. EWWWWWWWWWW.

"Nooo. Ze yooteruz izin ze ryt plays" she says as she *!!z-wacks!!* off her latex gloves.
Well thank you very much.
I'll just go to the loo and remove the ton of oozy goo yoo had to yooos. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

I am now booked in to the pathology clinic for a blood test because she's worried about my goita that I've had for all my life and never had a problem from. I go there. I don't mind blood tests, they just waste time because they always come back fine. So I sit down and get jabbed and she doesn't stop after the first vial. Or the second. I say " Wow, heh, how much are you gonna take out! heheheh"
"Oh,...... three vials for this".
Cheers.

I'm also booked in for a mini minor up the cunt next week, otherwise known as a pap-smear. I feel so medico bullied!

It's just enough. Time for red wine and Star of Bethlehem.

Hi! I'm here!

Putting up the Green Man on my garden wall was like a milestone for me. I felt a sense of welcoming myself into this place a little more, of inviting in those things that are part of ME a little more, and of making sure the other things that are already here can say hello to the old man and be assured I'm a friend.
He's up there, grinning de-pupiled eyes and leafy hair. Love him.
I conversed with the spirits of the trees over to the West the other day. They swayed a message of anticipation, of a birth to come and of making sure I stop and gather up some goodness. Being root Beings, I guess they know all about the need to exist in one space to nourish, yet be able to stretch all the way to places only a few ever reach. And I must admit I have been running around a bit in my head and in my life. I have been missing the stopping and soaking up. And I haven't been feeling my Self very much in the last week or so.
Not suprisingly all this led to a major love-in with my Vetiver Oil. I annointed my big dining table and have been rubbing it into my wrists and the soles of my feet all the damn time! So blissed out and grounded.

totally oxcellent dudes

My totally oxcellent big sister bought me a pair of running shoes today. i luv her. :)

I did do a Reiki session on her leg that is recovering from surgery, and I do listen with integrity to her when she needs to talk, but I thought that was just a sisterly thing to do. I'd expect her to do the same. But, hey, it's all good. If it makes a good difference for her to exchange in this way I'm for it!

So. I've already been on the treadmill with the shoes, 'cause I just like HAD TO RUN with them on straight away, and I've gotten a liddle widdle blister from them already. Awww bless. I'm going to be warrior-girl this arvo and take the kids to the park for frisbee time with the new shoes on ..... regardless of the blister. I giv ze blista nusszing! Not even a thought.
Rah Hah.........;/

nngghhgrrrr.....

ftzlwph pstfeeeeest ...er...nyce :P

ok. slightly recovered from finding this picture. er like how lovely is that?!

as a slasher website has written about Bodie 'well, you only need one of them to pull a plow', oh yes indeedy. the sevuntees 'non-hairstyle' is just adorable too. :)

Reiki me baby

Received my Reiki I and II yesterday. My tutor says she has never done two attunements like this for anyone, but because I've done the energy work before and hands on healing, she felt that I was going to have no trouble coping with Reiki. I felt so.... proud of myself, and so grateful to her for trusting in me.

So, good. I received some very vivid and beautiful visions during the first and second attunements, and I am so very grateful and, just tickled pink, to have been given them. :)) Kali came in very strong on the first attunement. Beautiful, powerful, laden eyes opening and closing as the energy came through. Then I was given a vision of my energy/essence cloaked in a golden coat of feathers that were glowing with energy force, on the second attunement. Very calming though. The first attunement also had a nice physical effect when the symbols were put into my palms. The feeling is quite undescribable, but, it sort of felt like 'fuzzzy lightening' going in and then up my arms. Just so cool! :)

I'm just going to float around for the next month or two on those memories. We also were able to perform a powerful healing on my friend (she's just left her wank of a husband) who is going through a very tough changing period right now. Hence, I feel, the reason for Kali's strong presence within me on the day. We were weeping with her as she was releasing the grief that had been wracking her being. It was quite a baptism of fire for all of us. :) Not to worry. All for a good reason. We saw just how useful, and necessary this technique is.

So yes. A big day. We did five healings as a group on each of us. Talk about molto bene mojo.

- the graphic is from a website I can't remember. to the artist I send full credit for a nice representation of the energy body :)

Men just shouldn't wear flares

I discovered this from watching a re-run of The Professionals. There was this scene where the boys were off and running after 'the bad guys' and it just looked all wrong. (great thigh shots and then, flippity-flippity-flippity went the flares!) All this macho gunfire and stern faces and they all have their hems flapping in the breeze. weird.

I admit here, fully and without reservation, that I have been subconsciously influenced by this show, even to the point of marrying a man who bears similarity to the delicious Bodie.

The large lapels are ok. The flared daks are not. Thank goodness for the snug fitting hip cut of this era though.
(honestly don't know how Doyle moves without splitting a seam)

Above is a photo of one of the characters, Bodie, who's a bit delish. I have to go on the treadmill now and then off to a cold shower.....bye.

Duality in Balance

It's the Spring Equinox in the Southern Hemisphere tonight-ish. I feel so at Peace with the Universe and conversely want to rip something's head off. Ahh.

Night and Day in equal quantities, and so how do I honour this passing of balance in the year? I clean my kitchen whilst my daughter gently hums one of Kate's songs. "in a sea-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee of honey-eeeeee, a sky-iiiiiiiiiiiiii of honey-eeeeeeeeeeee.........with shad-does, long and lowwwwwwww.." She's creating something beautiful with water colours and she's all dressed in little girl pink.

I clean my little Buddha and shine his belly, light some Darshan incense and look around, so grateful for this awkward and quaint little house I live in.

D lish. :)

Within

There is a quietness here like nothing else. It comes to envelope me in big hugging arms of 'it's ok' energy.

Alll that blather, all that confusion is silenced. It's just me, being quiet.

Still waiting for the 'big thing' to appear, but I'm now ok with the waiting. It is a necessary, so I do accept it.

I had a conversation recently about what happens to me when I'm in full 'consultation' mode, and how I feel unprepared each time for the onslaught of emotional pain, etc. The person responed to my ramblings with the observations that perhaps I am far to empathic and should concentrate my efforts on being sympathetic, as a way of shielding myself. This was a revelation. I always believed that my empathy was a strength, and in one observation, I see it is my biggest weakness....in terms of it being an avenue to drain my energy that could be better focused, not that feeling others pain is a bad thing, just draining for me.

I then started to speak to her about how I find myself relying more and more on 'props' as I called them, for the consultations. I use my gems to shield, to protect, to connect. I use my aura to search, reflect and dissect information. I use so many things from the clothes I wear to the behaviour I express, yet I forget that the biggest tool I have is the bit of me I can't express in words.

A shaman acquaintance (baltic tradition) used the word 'urt' to describe this essence. Like a kind of individual vital force. An individually identifiable chi. This is what I feel is the necessary vanguard, fortress and laboratory for me. I'm going to explore it a lot more in the upcoming months.

Seems so damn simple and I am kind of embarrassed to express the whole finding. But hey. We're all friends here, right?

(The beautiful painting is by Alphonse Mucha. I just LOVE all his stuff. *genuine sigh of envy* This picture is of the Polar Star energy)

It's the little things

We took the children through a carwash tonight. First time I think they've ever been through one and it freaked them out a bit.

We got lots of 'oooohs' and 'aaahhhhs', but then we also got lots of plaintive whines and 'Daddy!!! I want to get OUT!!' as well. The latter from little Will.

It's just these little moments that happen in life, with children, ....as a child; that seem to last as a momentary time capsule. I remember things like this from my childhood, and they make time irrelevant, because the moment is as it was back then. It hasn't changed.

Memories are to me like a resonance. A sound that can be recaptured instantly by the mind. Each note is changed slightly by Distance and not Time itself. The melody is always familiar. You know what I mean?

something for a giggle

This was what should have been pinned on me yesterday at the 'unveiling' of my daughter's school makeover. They won $75000 worth of landscaping etc, and, well, if I could see $30000 worth of it then my arse is a sugarloaf.

At least the furniture they got will last about 3 months. It's all from Ikea. :) bless. And the bromiliades they planted everywhere will propagate lots and lots of mosquitoes for the children to play with. Oh the joys of living in a tropical climate. Then there's the half dozen Grevillias they planted too, they look fab. Unfortunately one of the boys at the school is severely allergic to them. It could all have been helped with a little communication!!

Sarcasm anyone? Going cheap today.....

but here's a picture I love

Danu
Celtic Warrior Goddess. Isn't she fab? Can't remember where I got this from, so to the artist in question, I send you all appreciation for your talent and inspiration.

nyoo vyoo

Ok so the last picture didn't work out. I've loaded another. It is the heiroglyph for 'rejoice, exalt!' etc. I thought it appropriate to lift my spirits. (there's so many of them)

I have been working hard giving suggestions to fix other people's woes, and it left me somewhat 'flat'. Hard to believe if you've seen my profile physically, but yes, 'flat'. Deflated. Un-pumped. 'pfft!'. I still have dark rings under my eyes.

So today, I was decanting this gem elixir I've made to use as a base for the flower essences, and I thought, " damn! I need some of this mojo!!", so I swigged the rest of it down the hatch, and burped. All is well. :)

Rejoice! Exalt! etc etc etc.... in your own time....

Yew like??

I have popped a wee photo up on my profile. Feeling sort of energised,...or zapped, perhaps both at the same time. I've had enquiries and bookings for consultations all OVER the place. Great. Now I just have to complete all that work and .....
spread the LOVE!!! :) ahahahh.....

pissing down!

What a bloody downpour.

An insomniac can tell you the exact moment of rain beginning to fall at night. They heard the first droplet. I heard the first droplet. Very pretty. Now it's just pissing down and keeping the children indoors when they could use a day of sunshine to dry themselves up. Ah anyway.....

Days like this remind me of the story of Carl Jung and his vision of God doing any enormous turd down onto the world. I can't help visualising an old man in white robes, standing idly like the little cherub in the fountain in Italy, humming quietly while he does THE MOST extended urination in the history of existence....
........just pissing down.

"dah daahhhh, de dumm. Do doooo, de deeeee, laahh lah lah lah......."

A day in the life of..

When I got to school yesterday morning, it was the first day back from holidays, and I was doing the usual happy happy face "Hi! How are you! Had a good holiday?" round of the parents there. Got chatting small time with a couple of the ladies doing most of the 'organising stuff' that needs to be done by dedicated parent types. Found myself on the end of the question
"So you're coming along to wrap lollies tomorrow afternoon?" *smiling expectantly*
I did a couple of mental backflips, halfpikes with various twists, and still could not recall anything to do with lollies and the wrapping there of. Darn!
So smiling back like I had a flipping clue what she was on about I reply "Yes! Of course! About 2ish say? Great!"

So today. I find myself with sticky labels in a factory line up closing up plastic bags of sweeties. The smell of sugar and butter with nuts of various sorts and quantities wafting up. That wouldn't be bad at all, but I've just chosen to go on a 'cut down on chocolate and cheese' phase, and this little chore just seriously blew it!

I've spent the day doing the washing, cleaning sheets, space clearing my room, re-organising my assortment of incense, playing with Will, eating apples on the swing chair while playing eye-spy (illiterate friendly eye-spy), mulling over the thought that my life has dramatically illustrated to me the need for a plan, AND, sorting and sealing bags of lollies.

It's an odd world when you are being Mother.

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite.....

Driving back to the shopping centre after a morning at the park with kiddies who are recovering from a relapse of the flu......

Charlotte has voiced her frustration with the process of getting better by having a five minute whinge-a-thon at very high pitch with tears and various other snotty intervals. (all very empathically dealt with of course,...I'm a nice Mummy) William watches on saying very emphatically "Mummy! Chaaaaarlotte iiiiiiiiiiis cryyyyyyyyyyyyyying!"

I keep on driving.
I have a sister to meet and a cup of tea in a soft chair to look forward too.
And I need to buy knicker liners and tampons, so I NEED to go to the shops, and don't really want to go home straight away with snotty children. (bless)

Two minutes from the shops I notice quietness in the car. I ask tentatively, as if I don't give a toss really,.."Feeling a little better now Charlie?"
Silence.
"What if I get a soft chair at a nice cafe and you can lie down while I talk to Kylie?"

Charlotte responds quickly with "Yes! and I can have a cup of tea in MY cup and a chocolate cupcake!....that will make me feel better" *snoooooort*
(all said in slightly whingy 'I'm still not very well you know' voice)

"Oh kay then darling"
"Will? You up for a cuppa tea too darl?"
Will gestures his hips forward getting comfy in his seat and says, "nahhhhhhhhh......." *snooooort*

Riiiiite.

Kids are so great.

It's like having friends you can't stand.

But you love them terribly and can't stand to be away from them either. I bet this is how the butler from Batman feels............

cloud watching, not busting

The Omega encircles the Question Mark and flies North on a bank of cumulus in the Western sky.

What does this mean?

Simply, to me, it signifies a need to seek out the questions before embarking up searches for solutions.

The North symbolises the Career and the strength of character, the West implies efforts of Creativity and the heavy bank of clouds symbolises the weight of neglected, and rejected projects I have been storing up within myself.

Creativity flies towards my Career with a sense of being overburdened.

The Omega, symbol of the 'end', is gathering up unto it the Question Mark, as if to say 'see? I hold the questions, in the 'end' you will find the questions'

The Question Mark sitting meekly within the Omega signifies an expectancy to me. It just sits and waits, it flies along with the Omega and does not come apart from it. Too much time and energy spent on seeking solutions without defining the questions first!


Migraines always bring out the visionary in me so much the stronger.

Memories of madness and migraines...

I was once a chronic migraine sufferer. I didn't get the standard 'oh my head hurts' type of migraine. I got the industrial strength, skull-splitting-gut-spinning-eye-swirling-tongue-numbing kind. With a little temporary paralysis thrown in for good measure too.

It always ended in a vomit. A three hour journey to heave all the contents and more from my frame. Then the pain would increase, and for days onward I would have that feeling like someone had injected a rubber inner-tube filled with water inside my skull around my brain. Owch.

I remember my first ever migraine vividly.

It's a very lucid memory.

I was five years old and had come home from school with the measles. I remember that Mum and Dad had bought me some Fruit Tingles for a nice sugery hit to make me feel better. I can remember being allowed to play outside in the sunshine for a little while after coming back from the doctor's and then waking up in bed after my fever had broken, but with this weird thing happening to my eyes and a smashing headache. I left the bed, went down to the garden and retreived my half packet of Fruit Tingles from above the hose tap. Then, as I was walking back to the brick steps I heard the rumble of the large semi-trailers steaming down the hill at the bottom of our street. They sounded very far away,..... but I distinctly remember thinking at that moment that if I just could get myself down the road, I could walk under a truck and all the pain would stop. The next thing I remember is being in bed again with Mum telling me I should NOT get out of bed and wander around whilst I was sick. I told her about the trucks then. She was shocked and scared. I scared my Mum really good that day, without any intention to.

Inevitably this prolonged experience with migraines lead to analgesics. Painkillers of many and varied sorts. Aspros did nothing, just made me vomit earlier than usual. Then I was given a few Pethadine injections.(lovely, lovely, lovely) Then, I was prescribed Codiene Asprin at the ripe old age of 15. And, if you give a 15 year old access and permission to prescription pain relief, well then, the outcome is pretty much set.

Anyhoo. Life went on, up and down, small bouts of suspected insanity. A little behavioural self-abuse, a little alcohol abuse (pffttt! actually, a lot), a little bit of running away from my responsibilities, and generally erupted in a big sense of not knowing what the hell I was here for.

They abated suddenly after meeting my husband about 12years ago. Now. I'm not convinced either way which catalyst it was. It could have been the introduction to large amounts of marijuana resin for a short intense period of time. It could have been the meeting of my lovely husband that gave me purpose and connection. It could have been getting out of the family home and running away to the other side of the planet. Methinks it was a conglomerate effect.

I've had a total of about 4 migraines since I've been married, which is a vast improvement on the 2 to 3 times weekly I was having before I met him. I had one today. Out of the blue. I usually like to be able to pinpoint the catalyst, in some form of stress trigger. But no. Don't know.

At least now when I have them I meditate the bastards out and only sometimes have to take a little panadol. It just sucks immensely that I can still get one.

Om Mani Padme Hum.

La Dolce Vita! Bravo!!

"don't be misled! these boobs take some maintenance!"

Not unlike the Fredericho Fellini movie, I am feeling somewhat bold, buxom and brazen.

I feel I am definitely in a good life, living it. Maybe it's because the array of musical talent has, inevitably, relented in my head.

Maybe it's because it's school holidays and I feel the 'chaffeur' will be getting a rest from the twice daily run of school 'drop off' and 'pick up'.

Maybe it's the cool weather which draws me to think of green grass and rain drops sliding off slowly from leaf and frond.

My Pan God has come to visit and he's a barrel of fun if not a little misrepresented in the media. I love this time of year. It's like the whole damn continent just gives up a sigh and asks for a glass of red. Luvley.

I had four guests around to dinner last night. (plus lovely husband, myself and two beautiful children) Homemade pizza by moi, with herb crusts (organic herbs from my garden, forgive the immodest show of pride there, but it's well founded....), many different kinds of vegetable goodnesses as toppings, AND, we even had one with artichoke hearts, chargrilled capsicums, sun-dried tomatoes, and the most brilliant ingrediant of ALL TIME,..........baby boconccini.
(oh let me go and have an appetite orgasmmmm)

Everyone got extremely full of pizza, wine and salads. It was good. I got to say that my brother-in-law has feet like a Hobbit, and because of the jocular nature of the evening, everyone laughed! Oh! Hahahahah!
I even got to say other things that due to the happy nature of the night and the distension of everyone's bellies was taken lightly,.... as if no-one was listening at all!
...maybe no-one was listening at all.....
oh well...

To reiterate. Life is good. Living the good life. La Dolce vita is alive and well in the skipping little land of Chinut. Taking orders for pasta night next week.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOk-la-homa!!!!.....and others...

"where the wind comes whistlin down the plains!"

Oh yeah, I'm back into the groove of life.

After Bohemian Rhapsody was defeated, or left voluntarily,.......... I'm no longer interested in dispute.....
I had a moment or two of a Guilbert and Sullivan revival, and wow, was it great or what!
(I can't believe I remember THAT much from the musical My Fair Lady)

And the Pirates of Penzance floated in and out quite often. ("what NEVER! No never!!)

Then, O Glory be, ...Oklahoma swooped in to take it's place with a rush of happiness I'm honest with being damn embarrassed about.

"there's a furry-little-surrey with-a- friiiiiiinge,...on the tooooooooooooooooooooop...."

Oh I'm smiling like Julie Andrews on top of a mountain. Give me an apron and an Austrian dictionary now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't let anyone tell you that working with flower essences doesn't work. It does take some courage though..........

Scaramooche! scaramooche! can-you-do-the-Fandango!!

"'sunderboltz an lightning! very very frightning! me!"

Ok so this is the new mind game I'm in now. bloody Freddie Mercury and Co with the most drama queen song. It's comforting and yet, somewhat feels like it is going to send me mad. Doing the washing, making the tea, writing serious documents, it doesn't seem to matter what I do, Bohemian Rhapsody has an IN anywhere for anything.
'So you think you can stop me and spit in my eyyyyyye!'

With the contention of the last month firmly IN my head, I am now on the tidal flow of it OUT. Seems like we're on a mental Spring Tide, and I am in the middle of the current.

"Galileo!! galileo! Gallileo fig-ar-o!"

And we go on some more.

'Be-el-ze-bub-has-a-devil-put-as-ide for meeee, for meeeee, for MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!'
Well if there is a devil put aside for me lets hope it's a nice devil. The sort that will attempt seduction before ripping out flesh.

So now, all that's left to do is the headbanging.
Dah na-nah na-nah na-nah na-na...........!!!!!!!!!! :)
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Sometimes, I get the feeling, that it's all in my head.

Piss off Parkie! I'm tryin ta sleep!

Ah kay. You know when you've had a run in with someone about something, and you know it's going to be more harmonious to just 'leave it' and move on. Let the world keep turning etc. but these little voices start popping up and creating dialogue in your head?
With me it's always an interview with Michael Parkinson. He's very insistent and relentless is Mike.

So I get the sweats induced dream of being interviewed by MP on his show and, lo and behold!, the archnemisis of the-current-issue-at-hand is the topic, and sometimes even the second guest. Yikes!

Suprisingly, I found out recently, this is not an uncommon phenomenon. Robbie Williams confessed to having this happen to him in times of stress too. To think! that bundle of tight buns the Robster has the same pschological process as a mere mortal. Great.
(maybe it's got something to do with the history of alcohol and drug abuse......?)

Anyhoo. I got through the interview, and, considering, I think I came across ok. I made good points and described in detail my reasons, opinions and dealt with humble awareness my own weaknesses which undeniably lead to the situation arising, "Yes...... of course Michael, I see that very clearly".

He not only shook my hand at the end of the session but gave me the 'forearm clasp' only reserved for those he truly connects with.
We even did the inaudible gratitudes at the end too.
It was a beautiful moment......

I feel healed. :) thanks Mike. Now rack off and let me get some shut eye. xx

"It's a new dawn, it's a new day....."

Oh dear.
What a time I've had in the last day or two. I've been angry, upset, angry then a bit more upset, then inconclusive, then wavering. Ah dear me.

I had the experience of being confronted by a person yet again (read 'old grey horses') who wanted to extol their amazing grasp of all knowledge. Yippee...bring me more of those. NOT.

An ex-tutor got to writing a veiled insult against Feng Shui practitioners who are still 'in their ignorance' because they are practicing Bagua Feng Shui and not authentic Feng Shui.

Well, let's just begin by saying I wasn't impressed with the insinuation that I'm stoopid because I don't get fanatical about a certain kind of study. I think all ways of approaching Feng Shui are for all different types of people. And we only have to search a little to find what suits us best.

(And this person has taken money to tutor at a place where all schools of feng shui are taught and supported. It doesn't smack of a lot of integrity to be able to have no tolerance for practitioners who use different schools of feng shui and then to accept money to teach at an establishment that supports this)

I've studied them both and they both have their upsides and downsides. I'm not into superstition, but I'm happy to let someone have their three toed frog if it makes them feel better! Ya know!!? I don't feel the NEED to tell them that it 'doesn't work' and won't make them wealthy, because 'wealth' means such a lot of different things too. Not just moola.

Wealth of peace of mind may be given to someone because they use their frog at the doorway. Who am I to take that away?

What was written by ancient sages is truly useful, and then, a lot of it must be used and moulded to be for our day and time. Authentic Feng Shui is all about Time, and it's effect and that it changes situations. Yet this particular authentic practitioner was quoting something from an ancient text that quite frankly was just posturing and has not got a lot to do with what I was upset about.

He was alluding to the possibility that all un-authentic practitioners were 'fraudulent'. Which got my hackles up well and good. It's not fraudulent if your main intention is to help, you deliver aide and you are making a positive difference in someone's life, because that's what they have asked you to do. It would be different if they ask for a Flying Stars assessment and I use the Bagua on them. That's fraud.

This whole rant makes little sense, I know. Just a written vomit. :)

So, I replied to the said writing and got a nasty rebuke. Waht-ever! Like I so give a flying fuq. It felt so refreshing to press 'delete', to press 'leave group', and to realise I'm never going to have to read any of this twat's writing ever again. Yeehah. The gift of release given to yourself is very ..... empowering.
"I am ten foot tall and bullet proof!"
"I attract and accept all beauty into my life now"
"I am justified through my actions"
"I live and love with integrity"

I think I'm doin somethin right.

On the weekend my sister (one of many) came to visit for a little work on the thought pathways that were all twisted up, and, it lasted a few hours. It had tears and sighs and heaves of breath, and my children were so good that they played quietly and respectfully on the other side of the garden while us two 'adults' played out the necessary grief and humour to temper the situation.

So after several hours of this and many cups of tea, my beautiful daughter comes up and says " Excuse me, can you take us to ride our scooters over at the pathway (etc etc etc.....)" and so we apologised for taking so long and thanked her for being so good and keeping her younger brother amused and interested.

And then she says, " And, you know, you can talk on the grass over there, 'cause I won't be able to hear whatever you're saying......... while I'm scootering around...and all that......" *looking at us with big green-blue eyes*

My sister and I just grinned widely and said thankyou. Then as she was walking away from us to gather baby brother plus scooters, my sister just gives me the biggest squeeze round the shoulders and beams a bright face at me. She says "She's such an amazing little person isn't she?!" nearly choking on her happiness.

It was Great. It was a moment filled with Grace. I'm always going to remember because it showed me that not only have I been able to teach my child compassion, but I've been able to show her enough so that she can display it openly, with natural capacity.

Felt it was like a big pat between the shoulder blades from the Universe you know? fab.

You know it's Winter when....

you can easily be in bed by 7:30pm and not want to get out until 7:30am, .....when the sun is fully 'up'. That way you can run to 'the sunny spot' in the house and defrost. Making dashes to the kettle, and back, to... 'the sunny spot', and wrapping chapped fingers around steaming mugs of tea.

Ah I love it though. Even if it is only going to be for a couple of months. It's the joy of the experience, ya know? Before we can buy a tub of body moisturiser to allay the dry flaky skin of our season we name 'cold', we'll be slapping on the sunscreen and whinging about heatstroke over a large jug of Gin & Tonic. With lime of course.....

The photo is of 'The Nine Ladies', a stone circle in England that has been under supervision by several conservation organisations as a whopping quarry was planned to be dug near it. The last I have heard is that it is safe. Until the next pack of bastard mongrel wankers tries to rip into yet another jewel of an area in M.O.E. I'm sending my love to all those long haired, smelly, well educated, big hearted travellers who do us proud with their tunnelling and tree dwelling. Keep on doing that hard and usually unappreciated work!

Visit the Megalithic Portal site for more info on conservation of this type.

http://www.megalithic.co.uk/

Schuey...we luv u

The most contained, diplomatic, polite, respectful, intelligent and constrained driver in the whole of the Formula One pack is the fab Michael Schumacher.

I was so utterly pissed over the weekend to see that he'd been penalised and put at the back of the grid for a suspect engine stall on the qualifying lap that left Alonso (the current leader this season) unable to complete his final qualifying lap and therefore putting MS in the front spot on poll. So?! Schuey would have got it anyway. The contention is that they reckon he'd done it on purpose to stop Alonso getting poll position. Whaaaat a weak argument. What a weak accusation. Just deplorable.

And bless his little Germanic cardio pulmonary system, he came back and finished 5th moving an astonishing 17 places up through the field on the Monaco circuit. Which is bastard hard to make places on as it's terrible to overtake anywhere.

I felt it was a tremendously succinct way of giving those F1 officials the bird.

Schuey, WE LUV U!

Manifestation or delusion?

Manifestation is the ability to make real our dreams and hopes, needs and wants, whether you choose to define them as such or not. Manifestation has intrigued me and I admit, I used to dismiss it as coincidence. Now I think that NOTHING is coincidence. Everything, that is, ev-er-y thing, happens because it needs to so that something else can occur and because something previous has occurred. Then we could get into parallel existences and really screw with my head, but lets not go there,....I've just washed clothes all day, cooked school dinners in advance, then our dinner, then bathed children (I call it the 'feed n dip' time of day), and I should be, at this very moment, going through a project on the endangered Asian Elephant for my six year old's new school teacher.

There is enough to contend with without going for the parallel existence thing ..... yet.

It's all got a lot to do with the Universal Law of Attraction..........
What we focus on we attract to our existence and our experience of life.

"I now attract beautiful experiences filled with prosperity and the cumulo-nimbus like growth of my spirit!"

Yee-hah. Love a good affirmation.

"Make mine bus tork!"

Ah Will. When Mummy looks like she is sleeping on the beanbag, recuperating from illness, and generally not paying you much attention,..then it's time to start having an imaginary friend, and let them make your bus 'tork'. And no matter how angelic your smile and how much you implore me, the best I can manage is to drowsily roll the bloody wheels along the carpet whilst grunting 'brooom broom'. It's pathetic I know.
I'll be all back to fully functioning soon.

Into the Dead Zone....

Right. I'm at the point of the influenza virus lifespan where one wakes up full of the beauty that one can breathe through both nostrils. Only later to find that seeing as the body has done so much work to achieve this mighty feat that it has no puff left. Out of puff. puffed out. zlpt!
Today will be quiet. Quie-et.
(and Will won't drink his milk, Charlie won't get dressed....they can smell the weakness of the Mummy....)

'Sunset'

This gorgeous blend of golden, tequila sunrise, lapis lazuli and honey is the song that I love the most right now from Kate Bush's new album 'Aerial'. Fab. fab. fab.

"Keep us close, to your heart! so if the sky, turns dark! we may live on, in, com-ets, and, stahhhhrrrrrrrrs!"

Oh if anyone ever could read my heart and write a song, that would be it. Luscious Kate. :)

Old Grey Horses

Old grey horses who can't keep themselves from whinnying loudly in public, nipping anyone who happens to be close by, and annoying others, should probably be put out to pasture. Left alone, and generally avoided.

People who resemble such animals should be given the same treatment. Those that listen and pander to this type of person should be pitied in the most patronising way possible. But general avoidance is probably best......

....uh yes,....I've had a somewhat bizzare and confronting, amusing and revolting experience with an older woman who wanted to let me know she knows everything, erm, that I lie, and that basically, I should have shut up and agreed with anything she said. *rolling eyes sarcastically*
This woman is also a holistic therapist apparently.
*eyes widening in mock shock*
Holistic therapist my shapely and voluminous backside...
...work on your compassion, bitch! And your alcohol dependancy too.
(yes, yes, yes,...I realise that I'm coming to a realisation...all in good time eh?)

Oh shut up.

As I was about to write a blog titled 'be careful what you wish for' (in relation to Charlie getting into an exclusive and very hard to get into school) ....I heard my inner voice telling me to just 'stop being so bluddy predictable!'. I knew this would happen. It's what I've been focussing on for her for ages. I guess that I had used up my luck quota for this month with moving to a good home, Rob getting a good job, etc., and I just assumed that no more great stuff was coming my way.
Then I read my banner up top and go 'duh!!'. Like stick a neon sign on me and send me good things dude.

I'm so lucky. (lucky-lucky-lucky)

But you can sense and underlying haze of ungratefulness still hey? Well you'd be spot on if you did.

So, "I now release all my ungrateful attitude in relation to Charlotte getting into a lovely small, well run and thoroughly at-ease-putting school. "

And, "I am now swelled with overflowing Gratitude for the experiences that lay ahead and invite all the Beauty and Grace into my being that the Mother & Father can send to allow me to grow and stretch into this new guise."

I am now,..... a 'schoolmum'.

Watchout.

Nostalgia

Yes, 'nostalgia'. Sort of sounds like a great disease.

My little girl started school today, and I'm sort'uv sick in the tummy and excited for her too. She makes friends so easily and loves to have a teacher, and a lunchbox,... and the eggs they were incubating at this school just started hatching out today so now they have fluffly yellow chicks. How can I, mere-old-mum, compare with fluffy yellow chicks! No chance!

She has a uniform on, and her hair up, and it was hard to pick her out amongst even a few children. Really weird. So! to make me feel better, doing a specifically indulgent thing, I have posted a picture of Charlie in her fairy best. This is how she really looks.

I'm just going to go off and hummmm and sigh and have a cup of tea....and wait for another hour to go by so I can get ready to go pick her up. Will's missing her too. He's been doing a bit of 'angry young man' thang.

show me where it hurts....

I love my physiotherapist. I just love her.....to bits. She's fab. She's also been my meditation teacher, so I always feel like I've got to show minimal pain when being manipulated, because you know, I should know how to relax it out.......

Moving house is always fraught with danger (is that how you spell fraught?). I stuffed my shoulder during the move but stubbornly (or should that be stupidly?) kept going on and on. Then, when I had said to myself, 'I want to vacuum my new home as I feel the unpacking is about done', then, and only then, my shoulder stopped moving. I got so sick from the pain that I nearly hurled. Psychological release, that's what it is. Wish I could do the same kind of control when casting a deep meditation thought out to it's destination. Ah anyway. All in good time.

I love the way it hurts more after seeing my Physio than it did before I saw her. I love coming away aching and bruised with cup marks on me that give the impression I have been attacked by an amorous alien. I love it. I love the look of disbelief and pure fear that my husband has when viewing these marks. It makes me feel tough.....and I love the ache from them.

And she just seems to know that even though my upper arm is hurting,...that she actually needs to pummel my neck vertebrae,... squishing in, squishing out, squishing all about,...until it is even more in pain than my upper arm. Then she starts on the lateral back muscle.
Yegodz!!
I know it's all going to be good in a day or two.
When I can stop wincing when I move.
When the Arnica cream starts working on the bruising. When I can imagine visiting her again without doing a big chicken-out in my head.

I love qualified bodyworkers.

The need to see stars....properly

I don't quite know WHY, but it has always been very important to me to watch the stars at night, to say hello to Mother Moon and to generally bathe in moonlight. I don't mind if it is cloudy, I know they're there, but after a while I sincerely miss the little twinklies.

The move is DONE now, and we're IN! I remarked to my lovely Roberto last night that it seems we can view the stars much better from this place, which is odd because we are in an estate now, and the houses are supposed to be 'closer'.

But they're not. See at the other house, we were in 'suburbia', but modern suburbia, which is why we have such a depression epidemic now. The whole experience of living there was shyte. The neighbour was so close on either side,.. and this is the sort of thing that people save up to buy?! crazy. I'd rather live in an apartment anyday, or an estate like this one. It feels like a village and our backyard backs onto another backyard, so we feel a fair way from our neighbours.

What I am trying to get at is...it's all good.

I said hello to Orion and the other last night. Mother Moon is half full so she really IS Mother at the moment. The sky is clear, and on a good day I can see the top of Mt Lindsay from my balcony. I love it here.

The picture above is of the Orion Nebula from the NASA website.

Everything Sucks

Except for my children, and my husband, and my parents, and my sisters, ... and I'm sure my brother is a good guy too (just don't see him enough to know for sure....).

We've just moved house and it has left me feeling mostly uncharitable towards backward removalist firms, extortionate real estate agents and slack and overcharging carpet cleaners. You can all go suck on nasty nasty things!!!
Better.
Right. I feel released somewhat now.

I need to contact my darker side and implement a hex or two. For all the right reasons I can assure you and nothing too serious.

We had an extrordinary run of wankers and bastards in our lyfe in the last week or two. Not only has my sister been dealing with the '2 blade wanker', but we have dealt with the removalists who are all related to each other several times over. (yee haw) We've had other people who had previously come across as 'normal', 'easygoing', and generally human, change into immoral, loathesome, squirmy, gelatinous, cretins,....all vying to suck the cash out of my existence systematically, one by one, in sequence, without respite.

It's all a large learning curve I know, but frankly, at the moment I'm just way too overtired to give a flying fuq.
Night night.
xxx

Ah young Jedi.....

Right. This contention about the jaffle maker and the use thereof for the purpose of creating gooey, messy, and ultimately tongue branding sandwichy goodies will be once and for all put to rest.

As the lovely Sister B says, we did have a jaffle maker at home. We used it. When I was a young whipper snapper. BUT!! It was only ever brought out on cold Winter afternoons to use up the overflow of 'curried mince' or 'mince dish undefined'. Never do I remember the jaffle maker being used for something like breakfast. Never.

It was just 'not done'......until the catalyst of Sister B's birth. (oh joy! oh rejoice for the saviour has been BORN!) hmmmm. I think that's just a tad sarcastic really.....

Then the floodgates were open to hot baked bean or canned spaghetti jaffles for elevenses, for afternoon tea too! I remember on various occasions being delightfully scalded for weeks from a particularly plump baked bean jaffle. The melted cheese ones were my favourite but one had to be excessively crafty to avoid Mama putting tomato and pepper and salt in too. That was for a more mature palate. Yet sometimes we would be tricked by the deceptive gooey cheese gushing out of the jaffle and eat the nuclear hot tomato ones. Nothing like atomically heated tomato to really rip the gums into gear and completely resurface the tongue.

So anyway. There was a jaffle maker and yes it was used. But never for brekky.

Cheese on toast and Autumn

There's a definite quality in the air at this time of year, that is so very conducive to the partaking of warm and oily toppings on bread.

I remember from my childhood, never being 'allowed' to make something as extravagant as 'cheese on toast' in the mornings. Much better for my Mum to just clean up a milky bowl than the gooey and crumbly mess that such a project as cheese on toast does accrue. At least this is the distinct impression I got.

So, no spaghetti on toast, not baked beans on toast, not cheese on toast. I did however get the occasional omlette seeing as Ma was partial to these herself, but mainly it was 'the large pot of porridge' for brekky in Winter, and the cereal or jam on toast in Summer. (anyone who has grown up in a tropical climate knows that Summer actually is just the season that should be called 'Hot', and lasts for nine months of the year)
I only discovered that bacon, mushroom, sausages and grilled tomato were considered breakfast foods, in my late teens and early twenties. What a sheltered life I'd had!

It was good to find the full English type breakfast at such an age as it was required to reline the stomach after drinking binges, and offset the inevitable hangover scratch in the small intestine. (youngsters take note)

Lyfe at home was an endless search for the feeling of Autumn. That coolness that led me to truly believe I could put on clothes that had sleeves. The view of plants not wilting in a sea of crackly goldeness. Skies of blue without 'bite'. I think that's what ultimately attracted me to go to Britain.

Then I did a very silly thing.

I went from midsummer here to midwinter in Scotland. Sort of blew the fairytale ya know?

So now, I enjoy the onset of cool weather here. I make the most of it. I eat my toast and melted cheese! I make large breakfasts of spaghetti, grilled tomato and mushrooms with shallots and pepper and herbs! (gone vego you see, no piggy wiggy for me) I wear sleeved shirts! I wear my jeans and I rejoice in my clothesedness!!

Oh beautiful Autumn, may we never ever call you Fall.

My Aquarius

This picture really speeeeks to me. Thinking of star signs, prompted by Sister Buckle and the amazing Tim, I had a little brain holiday and remembered this picture. Light of Knowledge above the Waters of Life. The Merkaba is a geometric that gives the message 'as above so below', ........... which brings me to Aquarius.

Aquarians are supposed to bring knowledge to this plane of existence, yet a lot of what I have learned was gained from observation. So I think the enlightenment from 'above' is tempered and needs the experience of 'below'.

Nyce picture though eh?

La la-la la-la....off to my brain holiday again.....


notice the 'angel bubble' the artist has put into this too? lovely hey? :)

the Great and Beautiful Beyond......

I am just about to go 'off' and visit the heady realm of Evanessance (is that how you spell it?) and Three Doors Down. I have a fixation with the songs 'Bring me to Life' and 'Kryptonite' at the moment. As well as Kate's new 'Sunset' song. Fab. Fab. Fab. They are the fingertips to sanity at the moment as we are packing up this house and buggin out to a new place. Just in the nick of time methinks.

Moving house has led itself to a place where I am visualising actually BEING in this new place. I see the light from certain windows, I feel the breeze in the courtyard, I imagine walking to the library up the hill. All very comforting.

This has made me think of my Grandmother's house. Her walls. Her wallpaper. Her swirly wirly carpet. The SMELL of her cooking. The smell of her bathroom, with the soap and the powder. It's a beautiful reminder to me that the 'great beyond' need not be at all filled with any kind of fear, but rather, a kind of longing for the 'new' in life. Oh LIFE.

Oh now to the 'Last Week' of living in 'this' abode. The things that bug me, come up 100x their intensity. The annoying sound of the fridge clicking on and clacking off and the generated HUMMMMMMMMMMM of it's motor tooo toooo tooooooo close to my bedroom door. Oh to be in two floors of living again. Yes, I am definitely living in my new place already, if only in my heart so far.

Aye but it's nyce to see all the stuff getting packed. To discover stuff packed since the last move and to find toys behind and underneath furniture that the kids have been parted with. They LOVE me for finding these things. It sort of makes up for the skid marks on knickers to clean and the endless damp towels to pick up. Oh the joys and wonders and absolute beauty of motherhood!!!!!

Moontides, Feng Shui and the Karmic Super Highway...

Been thinking about how the Moon affects life in general. I have always watched the Moon, been fascinated by it's various appearances, awed by some of them. Lately, I've been 'affected' by it though. I have been sent into a state of instability.

I think its this house I'm in.

Chinut moved into a house with very warped Feng Shui. If she had known just how much it was going to influence her life she would not have come here.

See? this is what happens when you surrender to the Universe and say 'I now surrender', because it just goes "Yippee! some new human to send on a Karmic Superhighway!!"
Gee.....thanks.

So, I have learned my lesson with Feng Shui. 'Don't let the Feng Shui spook you, but take enormous notice of your intuition too'.

The photo I have attached to this post is from a site called 'Harmonik Ireland', which is all about natural healing and a lot about water healing. Great site.

William's Bum and Charlotte's Smile

Well 'lo there everybody!

My Sister Buckle has been saying for a while now that I am one of the people she knows that would benefit from having a blog. B-L-O-G. sounds lovely. Kate's new album sounds lovely too. I have been listening to it today and can say that it was worth the wait.

So on this very wonderful new day, I thought I would share with you some simple thoughts and happynings of my life.

My son William, 3 years, has given me much joy and consternation in his life so far. One of the joys at present is his pre-bath sequence in which he gets naked, by degrees, until standing proudly starkers, he turns.....and shakes his bum at anyone present while singing 'Nakey! Nakey! Nakey! Nakey bum, na-na-na-na-nahhhhh!'....and then he tears off at top speed to the bathroom with my inevitable cry of "DON'T RUN ON THE TILES WILLIAM!!!!!". bless.

Little Charlotte is just... beautiful. She sings along to Tori Amos and Kate Bush, and quite frankly, I think she is just as good at dancing like Kate Bush AS Kate Bush. We did a bubble blowing Tori-fied dance today, outside on the grass. She is also really into any reptiles, so we watched the crazy South African guy who catches snakes on Animal Planet last night, and we ate chocolate and crisps while William was in bed and Daddy was out playing snooker. Perfect life. The South African dude is like totally rad too. Check him out if you can. (he jumped out of a tree into a river to catch one of the snakes he was looking for! Just mad...)