Just gonna leave it all up to Heaven

Patterns in Life reoccurring...

we get financially 'ok', feel good, start to get those restless feet.
move house. usually to somewhere we deep down know we can't afford.
financially fuq up to a massive degree.
usually there is a new baby in the mix somewhere ready to be born or just arrived.
therefore sleep dep is prevalent.
therefore my head doesn't f ing work properly.

is this all Perception skewed or am I really having yet another 'pattern cycle' occurrence?

damn it...

Surely we've got enough 'universal brownie points' to qualify for even a moderate win on the Lotto to pull us out of the crap this time? yes?

Hmmm?

So, gonna leave it all up to Heaven, and let the Angels take care of it all in Perfect Ways.

When I'm in these moments of panicked reflection, I remember that it makes me not take notice of all those things that ARE really important...like how fast and cute Wil is, how his blonde curls weren't ever going to last forever, and how much I appreciate loving them for as long as they lasted :)

Oooh sleek new posting capabilities on Blogger...noice ;)

Well not much has been going on, just everything. I'm pregnant with fourth child, wrigglin and a wigglin away happily. We're moving house in a few weeks time to the Gold Coast and we are currently in the 'clean-up, do-we-really-need-this?, why-did-we-keep-so-much-shyte?' phase. Its cathartic and cleansing...

The kids have all had a bout of Spring cleansing as well, each being ill for a few days in turn over the space of the last three weeks or so. Considerate of them not to all get sick at once. I've figured out that Wil doesn't cough when he stands on his head. Makes for interesting career choices...but I'm sure he'll come good once he's got the nerves in check. Charlotte is a master craftsperson now, knocking out one or more amazing things per week, and Angelina has hit the phase of 'complete-meltdowns', which we are currently moving through with breathing techniques and lots of 'activities'. SEEMS to be working when I have the energy to keep at it.

Been busy with the different friends and outings through the natural learning groups we attend, and while its so so so nourishing to make connections like this, its also a form of socialising which I need more than the children sometimes. :) But they have a 'group of friends' now, and I cherish that, even if it does take a lot of Time out of the week and keeps me from seeing my own family sometimes, the children feel the time with family is all the more precious and looked forward to as much as time with their mates. Its a win-win situation as they say.


More soon when we get photos of the new house :)

Sparkly Things
Nette
xx

show me where it hurts....

I love my physiotherapist. I just love her.....to bits. She's fab. She's also been my meditation teacher, so I always feel like I've got to show minimal pain when being manipulated, because you know, I should know how to relax it out.......

Moving house is always fraught with danger (is that how you spell fraught?). I stuffed my shoulder during the move but stubbornly (or should that be stupidly?) kept going on and on. Then, when I had said to myself, 'I want to vacuum my new home as I feel the unpacking is about done', then, and only then, my shoulder stopped moving. I got so sick from the pain that I nearly hurled. Psychological release, that's what it is. Wish I could do the same kind of control when casting a deep meditation thought out to it's destination. Ah anyway. All in good time.

I love the way it hurts more after seeing my Physio than it did before I saw her. I love coming away aching and bruised with cup marks on me that give the impression I have been attacked by an amorous alien. I love it. I love the look of disbelief and pure fear that my husband has when viewing these marks. It makes me feel tough.....and I love the ache from them.

And she just seems to know that even though my upper arm is hurting,...that she actually needs to pummel my neck vertebrae,... squishing in, squishing out, squishing all about,...until it is even more in pain than my upper arm. Then she starts on the lateral back muscle.
Yegodz!!
I know it's all going to be good in a day or two.
When I can stop wincing when I move.
When the Arnica cream starts working on the bruising. When I can imagine visiting her again without doing a big chicken-out in my head.

I love qualified bodyworkers.

The need to see stars....properly

I don't quite know WHY, but it has always been very important to me to watch the stars at night, to say hello to Mother Moon and to generally bathe in moonlight. I don't mind if it is cloudy, I know they're there, but after a while I sincerely miss the little twinklies.

The move is DONE now, and we're IN! I remarked to my lovely Roberto last night that it seems we can view the stars much better from this place, which is odd because we are in an estate now, and the houses are supposed to be 'closer'.

But they're not. See at the other house, we were in 'suburbia', but modern suburbia, which is why we have such a depression epidemic now. The whole experience of living there was shyte. The neighbour was so close on either side,.. and this is the sort of thing that people save up to buy?! crazy. I'd rather live in an apartment anyday, or an estate like this one. It feels like a village and our backyard backs onto another backyard, so we feel a fair way from our neighbours.

What I am trying to get at is...it's all good.

I said hello to Orion and the other last night. Mother Moon is half full so she really IS Mother at the moment. The sky is clear, and on a good day I can see the top of Mt Lindsay from my balcony. I love it here.

The picture above is of the Orion Nebula from the NASA website.

Everything Sucks

Except for my children, and my husband, and my parents, and my sisters, ... and I'm sure my brother is a good guy too (just don't see him enough to know for sure....).

We've just moved house and it has left me feeling mostly uncharitable towards backward removalist firms, extortionate real estate agents and slack and overcharging carpet cleaners. You can all go suck on nasty nasty things!!!
Better.
Right. I feel released somewhat now.

I need to contact my darker side and implement a hex or two. For all the right reasons I can assure you and nothing too serious.

We had an extrordinary run of wankers and bastards in our lyfe in the last week or two. Not only has my sister been dealing with the '2 blade wanker', but we have dealt with the removalists who are all related to each other several times over. (yee haw) We've had other people who had previously come across as 'normal', 'easygoing', and generally human, change into immoral, loathesome, squirmy, gelatinous, cretins,....all vying to suck the cash out of my existence systematically, one by one, in sequence, without respite.

It's all a large learning curve I know, but frankly, at the moment I'm just way too overtired to give a flying fuq.
Night night.
xxx

the Great and Beautiful Beyond......

I am just about to go 'off' and visit the heady realm of Evanessance (is that how you spell it?) and Three Doors Down. I have a fixation with the songs 'Bring me to Life' and 'Kryptonite' at the moment. As well as Kate's new 'Sunset' song. Fab. Fab. Fab. They are the fingertips to sanity at the moment as we are packing up this house and buggin out to a new place. Just in the nick of time methinks.

Moving house has led itself to a place where I am visualising actually BEING in this new place. I see the light from certain windows, I feel the breeze in the courtyard, I imagine walking to the library up the hill. All very comforting.

This has made me think of my Grandmother's house. Her walls. Her wallpaper. Her swirly wirly carpet. The SMELL of her cooking. The smell of her bathroom, with the soap and the powder. It's a beautiful reminder to me that the 'great beyond' need not be at all filled with any kind of fear, but rather, a kind of longing for the 'new' in life. Oh LIFE.

Oh now to the 'Last Week' of living in 'this' abode. The things that bug me, come up 100x their intensity. The annoying sound of the fridge clicking on and clacking off and the generated HUMMMMMMMMMMM of it's motor tooo toooo tooooooo close to my bedroom door. Oh to be in two floors of living again. Yes, I am definitely living in my new place already, if only in my heart so far.

Aye but it's nyce to see all the stuff getting packed. To discover stuff packed since the last move and to find toys behind and underneath furniture that the kids have been parted with. They LOVE me for finding these things. It sort of makes up for the skid marks on knickers to clean and the endless damp towels to pick up. Oh the joys and wonders and absolute beauty of motherhood!!!!!