The Most Insane Dream EVER

I'm not into making wild declarations too easily, but this one is correct. The following is a blog about a dream. It involves boobs, strange psychological pregancy associations, cars driving towards you on a road, and IMMENSE frustration. Read on if you dare...

The dream starts with a beach scene. I'm on the beach or at a beach 'hut' on holiday. Various members of my family are around, children, husband, sisters, parents. Milling, drinking juice, playing on the sand, gentle chit-chat going on. I've got this ghastly billowing polkadot halter neck dress on. Must be because it's hot, because its an ugly affair of a dress. Then I notice how big my boobs feel. They are enormous. Big and bloated and swollen, and that's why the dress is on,...'cause the rest of me is sort of bigger too.

"oh shit!" the thought comes to me, the dreamer, that this me, in the dream, is pregnant. And yes! oh dear god! it's true! 'cause I can hear her talking about the 'probably pregnant' me. !! aiieee. Damn, and now we are looking forlorn at a clinic of some sort. A kindly nurse/receptionish type hands me a kind of nice small size shopping bag made out of white shiny card, like the kind of thing you get from Clarins with a free gift of chemicals inside. :)
I open the top and sort through the bizarre arrangement of 'stuff' inside. I'm directed to 'take that' to the clinic (somewhere) down the road, because it will be used for 'the examination'. (like, by fuck, can't you just see I'm pregnant?) I look in the bag again and pull out a strange kind of condom thing. It's huge. like a baby's arm, as the saying goes. And it seems to be made out of the same stuff that old teets used to be made out of. Remember that brown kind of rubber they used to use? Yeah...., like that. Nothing to worry about I'm sure. Pop it back in the bag and get it over with... (yeeek)

So now the me in the dream is sort of resigned to have 'the examination' at 'the clinic' and gets into a car to drive down there. But no, could not be that simple to get this awful thing over and done with. All the cars on the road I have to drive down are pointing at me.
No.
I'm not on the wrong side of the road, but all these cars, mostly white sedans and a few utes, are all ahead of me a way down the road, and I can't tell if they're stationary or not, but they are heading right at me. Each time I check I find that yes, I AM on the right side of the road. So why aren't the cars moving over!? I keep going and going in my car. I'm determined to do this and get back to the beach holiday! But each time I go to drive 'down the road' these cars are in the way.

Finally, this part of the dream fades out. I'm back on the beach in a deckchair but completely naked. Not a stitch on. Boobs are enormously swollen, everybody is milling around doing the chat and drink and eating or looking after the BBQ. Nobody pays the naked me any attention at all.
I ask my husband to grab me a dress 'because I feel like I need a dress honey'. He gets a dress. He stands in front of me showing off the various attributes of the dress he's picked out for me. The cut of the sleeves. The cut of the neckline and 'feel that cool fabric Nette...'. Just odd. So I put the dress on and I'm pulling it over my enormous swollen breasts and I look around at me, the dreamer me. I sort of raise my eyebrows and I distinctively get, 'so here we go again'.

A couple of days later I'm telling one of my sisters about this dream and she nearly coughs herself silly because she had a dream about a little dark blue car trying to get through all this traffic but it was fighting it's way against the flow of cars. It was going through the cars, like it was on the 'wrong side of the road' she says, but it was just pushing on, like it had a mission.
I have a dark blue car. And we dreamt these dreams on the same night.

Cool huh.