Vegan and Gluten Free...otherwise known as VGF (verygoodfood) - Part 1

Hi!
Been a while...its now 2013 and its February...how time flies.
Quick update...Chinut is gluten intolerant...oh yes indeedy :\
How does one 'find out' that they are gluten intolerant? It begins with denying the fact that every time you eat bread or similar, you experience awful wrenching pains across the diaphragm, up the esophagus and get a smashing headache and sweats to go with it. Yes, for a while there (a long while actually) I'd considered that it must be eggs, or butter, or a combination of eggs and toast with butter, so I'd try 'no butter' and still get a reaction...so I tried 'no eggs' and I still got a reaction. Finally (oh dear me, yes, it takes a while for the light to dawn...) I tried 'no bread', but I told myself it was so I could actually lose some extra flab because admitting that the pain was caused by bread was like telling my best friend they were a bad influence on me...just a hard thing to do.

So bread was eliminated and I went on to feel marvelous. I lost a stack of weighty flab from my bod. I felt so much better! The peri-oral dermatitis I'd had flaring very very badly even went down. These subtle and not-so-subtle indications of my body's massive internal imbalance, helped me to stay bread free for some time. Though, contradictorily, I did not want to admit I had gluten intolerance. It seemed like a weakness to me. It seemed to me that I'd have to admit 'something was wrong with me'...

I ate oats, and with minimal reactions and the actual goodness of oats, I was able to 'feel full' after a meal of them. Three years down the track from my wonderful pregnancy with Angelina where I'd done all the bread-free work, and I'd slipped back into old habits. I can bake bread really well, and its a source of pride for me to produce this for me and my family, so it was difficult to bake this gorgeous smelling stuff and not sample some too...you know what I mean. Out of the oven comes a hightop loaf of wholemeal or tray after tray of vegetable Cornish pasties and it turns into Drool City. When I would see my babies all heartily tucking into the goodies I baked it made the world seem right. Baking tends to lend a certain atmosphere of comfort to a home.

Zipping forward to the pregnancy with Jeremy and I've again established a massive flare up of peri-oral dermatitis. Its awful. I feel like a baboon's arse, my face is red, inflammed, itchy and cringefully ugly to me. I desperately try every known trick I have and ask informed friends for their best take on what to do. Time and time again we return to pro-biotics and pre-biotics as the indications all point to massive internal imbalance. I even go so far as to try out MMS (water cleaning) treatment, but it was a little to much to take. What does help is the pro-biotics. I used Kefir milk. It's sour and zingy, creamy and wholesome. I like it but I don't like having to drink it. 'Consistency' is not my 'thing'. I help this by also using a pro-biotic vegetable powder (In-Liven by Miessence) but its made with greens that contain gluten, so I end up having my skin blow up from that. I go back to Kefir. Better. At this point, I am still eating bread (yeah! can you believe it?!) and having the pain reactions to it, but being pregnant and sometimes very hungry, I choose the quickest option and 'make a sandwich'. (this does cause me pain but I can explain it as indigestion of pregnancy...nice'n'tidy) In fact, we all can see, its not a quick option and not even the lazy option...that would have been a pear or an apple, which is what I did during Angelina's pregnancy.

Along comes Jeremy, birthed at home into water, and he's just beautiful. I enter this stretch of Motherhood with conscious foreboding. I look at him on the first night and shake my head, say to myself 'how am I going to do this when I feel like 'this'?', and we end up just 'getting on with it'. That's what I am good at. Perseverance. I persevere. If nothing else I am the Energiser Bunny...I'll just keep on keeping on. A couple of weeks in and we all know something is definitely wrong. A baby, any baby, shouldn't be able to produce this much wind. Its just in.sane. And me too! I can't get over how much bloating and wind I have. Its uncomfortable and unsociable. I read all I can about babies, gluten intolerance, dairy intolerance, and colic being a convenient way for us all just to keep on eating a standard western diet and dose our infants with colic mixtures. Tidy,...again. Society seems to enjoy tidiness.

Jeremy around four months old, and me ;) still sort of bloated...we've found gluten free bread, but I don't think it helps one to stay slim... ;\

This is like a red rag to a bull in my case. 'So I should just dose my bubba and hope it works?'. Like fuq I will. I know there is a solution, but it will be a difficult one for me to get my head around. I make no bones about it now. I am a product of conditioning from the society I was brought up in. I'll get past that too though,...one day soon. I try one week without dairy, and little effect (because I'm still eating bread) and then the next week with no bread. Well. After one 24hr stint of no bread Jeremy sleeps for four hours, peacefully, in the morning. I conclude, 'I am gluten intolerant and so is my baby'. Tah-dah!

Without gluten I become calmer. My skin clears up and I 'handle' stuff better. Now, all I need to do is get this bod into gear and balance the internals, because, yep, we've got thrush on a massive scale. Both baby and me. We clear it away with liquid and gluten free pro-biotic (Fast Tract from Miessence) some organic extra virgin coconut oil, a little colloidal silver and lots of fresh food. I am still on this particular 'journey' and this bacteria or parasite or whatever is stubbornly refusing to fuq off out of my system or at the very least calm down enough to be undetectable...so we are in a kind of def-con 5 situation with this little 'bastid' (or could that be 'blasto'?)...I'm starting Pokeroot Tincture in the coming week so will keep you posted on that little experiment too.

I notice from now on, that when I have a milk tea that Jeremy gets bad nappy rash. It manifests like his bowel is on fire..poor little chap gets red blistery like things around his anus...and so again I can conclude that at least for Jeremy 'my baby is dairy intolerant'.  I also observe that eggs make me feel queasy. They give me a pep of energy via the protein, but from what I am researching about gluten intolerance, it lends credence to the theory or research so far that gluten intolerant people seem to have difficulty processing certain proteins.

It is at this point I now know that Vegan and Gluten Free is going to be my future. Now starts the de-programming from a life so far of breads, standard grains, dairy and egg. Honey! omgoodness...I'll have to give up honey! damn. Then I discover maple syrup. ok!...its all ok again... ;)

More to come on my amazing Vegan and Gluten Free Journey in future posts! Stay tuned for amazing insights into Almonds, Cashews, and Brazil nuts (yum). The glory of Tahini. Wonderful wonderful Maple syrup and the joys of dried fruits and bliss balls. Banana and Spirulina smoothies, fresh organic herb teas, stacked green salads to make your mouth water,Chia Seed fantasticness and more :)

Blessings! xxx

What I've become

Hello again dear blog xxx

Well, a lot has been happening since we last connected. I read a few of the old posts and see that I was slightly fixated with red wine and magic. Which is all good, in moderation for the first and in excess for the second.

I went through a massive 9month stint of not drinking ANYTHING, and walking each day, mantra, Kirtan, meditation etc. All good for the Mind, Body and Spirit. Then, at the end, to save my marriage, my friendship, my relationship, my family, ...I involved myself again, and seeing as I am 'ms fertility', the result is Angelina Petal. Freaked me out no end, but, I do so honestly believe, in all my heart, that things happen for a purpose, so I took a few months to go through the twists and turns of 'how the bloody hell am I going to do this!', and, 'why is this happening NOW????!', and came to a Peace.
I came to a strength too.
I came to realise I had friends, and those friends were and invaluable source of strength in their own right, but encouraged my own sense of power too.

So now, dear blog, I am more powerful from a most powerful experience, that I am guilty of not talking to you about. The waterbirth, at home, of my third child, Angelina Petal :)

Pics coming soon :)
Promise! :)

"Daddy's afraid of the lightening behind your eyes"

Had another dream.

This one was about a little girl child, who was my child, and we were laying down on the grass beside a road, like the footpath grass edge with an old telegraph pole near to where we were. Thing was, we were near a road in a suburb like Holland Park, so even in my dream, the dreamer me was sort of nervous about being so close to a road with a little child. She would have been about two, and had that light blonde curly hair that toddlers have. Very adorable.

As we were laying down, twiddling toes, enjoying sunshine, looking at clover flowers and dandelion heads, she looks up at my face. We are very close, and she bends her face in towards my face, so we are nose to nose. I smile back at her, and then she comes out with, "you know, you have lightening behind your eyes"

I say 'hmmmm? yes?....I know. I do"

Then she says, "it looks like bursting fireworks"

"really?, are you afraid of it?"

She just stares back at me without expression, just watching me.

I say, "you don't have to be afraid of it... it's just energy inside me, like Reiki energy"

Then she says with her head down, eyes examining a clover bud, "Daddy is afraid of the lightening behind your eyes...." she looks back up at my face for a reaction.

"noooo...Daddy knows what it is too. its alright, Daddy's not afraid of Mummy"

And then we keep on chatting and I swing her up so she is sitting on my shoulders, and we begin to very slowly plod up the steep hill on the footpath. One foot very slowly after another....I assume we are on our way home.

Any time spent with children alone is like this. Its magical and singular and solitary and sacred. They just effortlessly bring out the best of Life.

drip drip drip

Me and Rob with little Charlotte - over eight years ago...

Today it started off raining. I think that I grew up with so much sunshine and blue sky that a day of rain is like,... exciting! but at the same time immensely soothing. My first thought was 'tea....now', and my second was 'the doona is really soft'. :) And then the pull to return to bed and just cuddle up with the blinds open so I could watch the swirling of the thick rain-laden clouds, from the cocoon of my bed. Ahhh..rain.

Somewhat 'womb oriented' thinking you may feel? I'd agree. This baby is giving off a fair bit of psychic energy, and I'm revelling in it. :)

Charlie is not feeling her best, so we are having a day at home. William is helping by bringing her drink of water to her....wherever she is,...to make sure she can get better and play. They are currently on the laptop playing the 'falling fruit' game on the Sali Mali website. (Welsh) They love it. And it is so nice to not be able to hear them playing. It means they're dreadfully 'into it' and concentrating. :))

Baby is due in 2 and a half weeks.
My mind does an amazing warpy thing everytime I conciously realise how close it is, and how soon I will be a Mother to three children. *blink blink* three children. Me! *raising eyebrows* *giving a low whistle under my breath* *shaking head softly* and smiling...

Strange Vitamin B induced vivid dream, number.....

no idea what number dream I'm up to actually.

I've been taking Vitamin B supplements as part of the pregnancy, and man, has my brain been having fun with it.

Last night I dreamt that Sinead O'Connor was not only a famous singer and musician, but she was also playing in town and available to do healings if you just rang her up. So of course, I ring her up and request a healing for my skin irritation, and she's all happy and sweet on the phone. In my dream we can see the split screen version of her on the phone to me and me on the phone to her. Of course.
I say something like, 'well I'd like to see you as soon as possible really....'
and she says, 'sure, what day suits you?'
and so I say, 'well Sunday would be great but I think you'd be busy on Sunday morning wouldn't you?' (remembering that she's like an ordained minister in some Christian sideline church, and might be marrying a couple or giving a sermon or something)
She replies that yes, it will have to be another day because Sunday she will be busy. She gives no details.
We end the conversation with smiles and 'see you soons' and other pleasantries.

I then go out to the train station, that is really weird because the overhead bridge is not 'overhead' but across the track. I assume this is just fine and that it tilts up and open like London Bridge does to let the trains come through. Then I see my train arrive and it's on the other platform, so I start to run over the bridge. It doesn't tilt up but the train gets through fine, and I get across fine. Ah the miracles of an unfettered mind.....
The train is pulling lots of carriages of large, hollow, plastic mouldings, and a couple of passenger carriages too. I alight onto one of the passenger ones, and realise that I'm travelling this all with the autistic boy from my daughter's school, except he's about 18 now in the dream and not autistic. He's just kind of blank and quiet.

And so the train begins to move. And I wake up and need to pee. As is the case now that I'm seven and a half months, and I always need to urinate.

Baby news

Got a Doula
For those of you who do not know what a Doula is, she is a woman who traditionally helps another woman give birth. They can be a innocuous as someone who 'provides support' to a birthing woman while being attended to by a midwife or 'doctor', or she can be full on, involved, doing the actual birthing stuff WITH the woman who's having the baby. Cool.

I think I'll leave it a few more weeks to let my sigh of relief fully reverberate around every part of me and then I'll write some more. :)

Due date is April 11th and I'm feeling good.

Life is Going On

Ah, it's been so long.
The last week or so has been a time of meeting deadlines, obligations, and completing tasks left too long in the 'got to get to that' brain file. Feels good to actually fulfill obligations, but even better to wake up without them.
I've re-edited the Bach Essences Cards....finally.
Did a consultation and report.
Managed to make my antenatal appointment, and visit my sister.
Today I remembered to get to a doctors appointment after getting Rob to the govt stationers to get his books for his new business being set up this week...phew. Then organised his prelim doc, paint for the office, letters for his sign, and come home to make 'phonecalls'. Aren't we just very busy and important....

Ah huh.

' Sometimes a little dim...'


Ah, so now it all makes perfect sense.



The week or so of 'klutzville' that I encountered. Leaving the air conditioner on all day while I was out (entering the house and thinking out loud "gee, I wonder why it's so warm in here....?"), the bumps of elbows, hips, bum, ankles, toes, hands, boobs, you name it. The general feeling like I'm in a dream state. The complete denial of the possibility. The steady weight gain in water retention over the last few weeks. An absence of blood and aches. My boobs being swollen and feeling weird.



Yep. I am pregnant with my third baby. And considering that I don't have sex very often (long story) this is a miracle child, like the other two. There are correlations with their conceptions all over the place that are either too personal to write or just don't need to be written,...

yeah...

so yup! baby, on the way. obviously meant to be, so I'm just going with the flow, no resistance, because I don't feel the need to, AND, it would accomplish nothing anyway. Baby is Here. Baby is Now. "hello little pink bunch of cells! Mummy is waving!"



I think if this one is as small as William was, (6lb4oz) and a girl, I'll call her 'Petite'. :)