Oooh sleek new posting capabilities on Blogger...noice ;)

Well not much has been going on, just everything. I'm pregnant with fourth child, wrigglin and a wigglin away happily. We're moving house in a few weeks time to the Gold Coast and we are currently in the 'clean-up, do-we-really-need-this?, why-did-we-keep-so-much-shyte?' phase. Its cathartic and cleansing...

The kids have all had a bout of Spring cleansing as well, each being ill for a few days in turn over the space of the last three weeks or so. Considerate of them not to all get sick at once. I've figured out that Wil doesn't cough when he stands on his head. Makes for interesting career choices...but I'm sure he'll come good once he's got the nerves in check. Charlotte is a master craftsperson now, knocking out one or more amazing things per week, and Angelina has hit the phase of 'complete-meltdowns', which we are currently moving through with breathing techniques and lots of 'activities'. SEEMS to be working when I have the energy to keep at it.

Been busy with the different friends and outings through the natural learning groups we attend, and while its so so so nourishing to make connections like this, its also a form of socialising which I need more than the children sometimes. :) But they have a 'group of friends' now, and I cherish that, even if it does take a lot of Time out of the week and keeps me from seeing my own family sometimes, the children feel the time with family is all the more precious and looked forward to as much as time with their mates. Its a win-win situation as they say.


More soon when we get photos of the new house :)

Sparkly Things
Nette
xx

Are we 'living online' a little too much?

I was considering the other day that my journalling has been quite lacking in the last couple of years. Obviously, new baby did have something to do with that, but I pushed aside the responsibility of the monthly newsletter to provide me with more time to create, be with the children, home-educate, etc...and then,...where is this life being recorded?
Just to prove that Facebook CAN suck the creativity out of you before you notice where its gone....these are a collection of some of my posts on Facebook over the last couple of months only....it was eye-opening for me to see the kind of 'affirmation gold' and snippets of life I wasn't journalling anymore.


Gratitude: When I feel crappy, weak or irritated it makes me think of when I'm happy, strong and calm :) And I think to myself, "I won't always feel this crappy,...soon I feel good again", and instantly I'm looking forward to feeling great.

Om is Divine Connection... :)


There is sincerely so much to be grateful for...I wonder why I didn't do this earlier :) perhaps I was stuck in the 'observation deck' of my ivory tower ;))

What crazy and amazing thing have you got planned for me today world? :)


Ice cold air
Nips at my toes
like small fish


Sparkly lights,
fall on my eyes,
like Blessings.

Mind Yoga for today: Immerse yourself in memories of what you daydreamed as a child. Child-Mind gifts :}

William has been writing and trying to spell and do his letters nicely...overheard this in the backseat today from Wil to Charlie, "Hey Charlie? see that 'S' I just did?? yeah, nice isn't it...its a really good 'S' hey..." Makes me think of 'Strongbad'...I think they are watching too much YouTube... ;]

"I am Abundant with Knowledge and Solutions"

"Everything I no longer need makes its way easily out of my Life, in Perfect Ways"

"I have all the Time to do anything I want to"

"I think therefore I draw"

 All my art is an expression of something within, and a reflection of it too...

Listening to Rob take care of Angelina tonight and thought, 'Here's one of the few things you never thought you'd hear yourself say, ... until you have a baby'. "Just sit there and finish quietly so I can wipe your bum" Parenthood GOLD...

"My body always knows what's best for me right now."

Just read David Wolfe's post and was thinking 'man, this dude is nearly as busy as I am!' :)) and I'm still motoring on on a Saturday afternoon!! woohoo, life rolls and rocks and wobbles and rights... ;D

Swollen with the realisation of Bliss...what a good place for my Mind to reside at.

Barefoot, by the seaside, virtually ALL day. Fricken fantastique!

Summer and AJ were bickering yesterday and Nicholas calmly said to them "be peace...be in harmony"....he told me later that he got that expression from Wil. Nicholas has obviously picked up on Wil's harmony too as he has been calmer since we last saw you. (amazing!)

Wil put a Pirate (temporary) treasure chest tattoo on Angelina's bum today....what will they get up to when they're older???!

Wil just wrote a whole letter to his new friend, without prompting, without supervision, and it just looks great :) He put it in the bottle he found at the beach yesterday and called it his 'message in a bottle', ("you know Mum?..like the song?", "yeah, I know the song Wil..thanks")

"I now choose to embrace Beautiful Change and invite New Experiences into my Life in Perfect Ways"

"When Honesty is shared, it blooms profoundly, encompassing all of those who wish to embrace it."
...because we're all here with this thing called reality trying to bend it to our perspective. Sometimes we bend so hard it flips back up in our faces with a resounding *smack!*

'The world turns, and groans, and stretches, shaking the land and the sea, as it has always done as it always will be. That we exist here on this planet, on its orbit in this position from the Sun, is a feat of immense Perfection. Peace to the Beings moving to another place, another space, and compassion to those in the unknowing, in grief and feeling Loss'

"Our Perception of any space alters the events that occur within it. Because of this the way we create our spaces; and for us in this reality, our immediate living spaces and environment, has a huge impact upon our health, wealth and happiness"

"If I am here now, it is because I am fulfilling and infinite plan of Being. Within this Life I can be immensely Powerful, Compassionate and completely in control of my Emotions and Actions. I can do whatever I want and have whatever I want. It is all here to be gifted towards my Life. I am Abundance. I am Perfection. I am the Perfect Me." notes, 7.3.2011

Dragonfly Wings, Moss, Green, Mist, Old Bark, Lichen, pale sunlight and a pervading sense of Quiet...

... just sitting back, allowing things to unfold, as they do...

* We are Infinitely Powerful *




Jannette Tibbs ‎"The feeling of being hurried is not usually the result of living a full life and having no time. It is on the contrary born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life. When we do not do the one thing we ought to do, we have no time for anything else -- we are the busiest people in the world." -Eric Hoffer, philosopher and author (1902-1983)

 

 

Why Facebook Sucks...

Well, it kinda DOES!

I just watched a powerful, ... seemingly innocuous, film today about a mother recording each day of her child's life via photographs. It was inspired by her own sister's project to be grateful for *something* for a whole year, and record it. That project is now to become a documentary called simply '365 Grateful'. You should probably check it out...its inspiring of course.

The film of snapshots is on Gregarious Peach blogsite (you know how to search...go surf) and it is poignant, simple, honest and the accompanying post is just gold. Gold. In her blogpost she describes how *life* is with young babies, with a head full of ideas, and little Beings asking for attention. She says quite pointedly that she gets angry at her children for the stupid things like interrupting her internet surfing waste time, and not being able to progress thoughts and ideas into any sort of fruition, and that just really struck home for me. I wept.

My life may seem like a glorious non-stop honouring of 'the child' and creativity, freedom and a sort of radicalisation of life in comparison to how other people are living it, and to an extent, yes, it is. Yet am I being honest about my life to Me? Am I understanding that *the dream* and the reality are two separate entities? Because to be honest, they sometimes combine, which makes coming out of *the dream* always a jarring and unpleasant experience. One moment I'm floating on a harmony cloud, children happy, contented, animated, loving, sharing, collective,... and then 'splat'...face down in poo! Can I choose to make *the dream* my reality and just stay there for the most part? occasionally popping into reality to pay the rent and a few utilities, travel some highway and fulfill a certain set of obligations?

'Tree of Youth' Pencil on cartridge, 1990-1991, Jannette Tibbs

 There's a crack in the wall made with time and age,... go, climb through it...

That's my Dream ;}

Facebook can be a time waster, and I thought as much about blogging at first, but now I use it as an online journal, and that just makes it flow so much easier. My children and their experience of me as their mother, helper, teacher and student feels like the most important and rewarding thing I can do as a Being. I can't think of anything; no career, vocation or belief that would surpass my commitment to their happiness, and yet, when I've been searching, looking, reading, writing or 'networking', I've somehow convinced myself that they don't require my attention. It's utter bullshit.

Not like I'm having *me time* with a candleight soak in a Lavender Oil and Oatmeal bath...in which case I'd probably share it with Angelina Petal anyway....BUT, you know? the video of Gregarious Peach just slammed home how fleeting this time is with the children and how very very very very very very precious it IS. I've constructed a life with my children, home-educating, radical parenting, etc... to allow me to completely immerse myself in the life I wish for, and then I go and piss a good amount of it away trolling the 'net. How stupid can I act?

So stuff it all, I'm signing off. I think I may give it all in, this 'social networking', and just Live.
Ciao!
Love you!
Bye!
xxx
Mwah!!!

Remembering Places of Green

There's a dip in the road
on the way to my Grandmother's house
where the Willow tree bends its
long long leaves, on long long branches
down over the charcoal bitumen
Its trunk stuck deep into the creek bank mud
anchored well against the rush of
thunderstorm swellings
that spill over the road, making a river
the muddy wash and pebbles and stones
green fern, green algae, green leaves
in the dip in the road
on the way to my Grandmother's house.

We had two pine trees
out the front of my house
that had dark, black bark, rough and nubbly
it tore at my skin as I climbed
and my dress was far to good for climbing
but my bare feet gripped the trunk
and I could get up to the branches
by jumping up on the rocks
covered in lichen stains
where we'd catch green tree frogs
tiny ones, that skipped over my skin
onto my dress, to rest in my palm
then we'd scratch the bark off to let the
sap flow, and collect the amber gooey
to dry and use as treasure
from the pine trees
that were at the front of my house.

The rainforest was my favourite trip
because of the walk down the tracks
where I had to wear 'good shoes'
so they could get muddy
and then I could clean off
the rich red sludge

from the walk down the tracks
through the rainforest.

My tree was a 'leopard tree'
at the corner of the concrete slab
my Dad had layed years ago
next to the natural spring
at the back of our yard, near the fence
where I played with my brother's
cars and trucks and animals
making garages and houses in the
hollows of the tree roots
digging out the rich black and red soil
making roads with my spade
under my leopard tree
at the corner of the concrete slab.

The field that had clover patches with buzzing bees
and sweet smelling grass across the road
often threshed by the old man and
his loud, smelly tractor
where we'd make 'houses' of hay
not noticing that we'd scared
the black and brown snakes away
with our raucous playing,
racing the tricycle around,
"yahooing and carrying on" as
my parents used to say when
we came home from playing
on the field with clover patches and buzzing bees
and sweet smelling grass across the road.

Solar Eclipse Dreams - White Spider and Webs

Ok, so a few months ago during 2010, I had a succession of spider related dreams.

(I should be writing up a report for a client but w t h...I want to do this instead, seems like that kind of day where things that 'should be' done are going to get shoved to the back of the line!)

This dream was sort of short, and it was set in my current house, in my current bedroom, so it was quite trippy to wake up. In this dream I was waking up in my bedroom, so I had this sense of confusion and displacement in Time when I actually did wake up 'for real'.

I am sleeping fitfully, and envisioning spiders in my dream (inside my dream) which wake me up. As I sit up in bed finally, ... I've tossed and turned for a while beforehand, ... I brush my head with my hands and something light and feathery is felt on the back of my hand as I run it through my hair.

The morning light shows me this infinitely delicate open weave web, strung above my bed, all the way across the ceiling of my room. Its pearly bright white. Just brilliant. I'm inbetween freaking out about the spider that's made this and completely in awe of how beautiful it is. I get up slowly stroking the fine sticky weave, and move around to the door of the bedroom.

I see a white spider in the web, and its not so big at all, so I leave it, and watch its shiny back, like a crab's shell. It fascinates me. Then a caramel coloured spider moves out of the 'funnel' in the web, and this one starts to move towards me at the door of the room. I see myself squash it, but it doesn't die. Then I'm freeze framing back to the same point where I see it emerge from the funnel of the web that's oddly come down right next to the bed in the middle of the floor, and each time I get the choice to watch it, move, see where it goes,...or kill it. This repeats and repeats. Each option opening to me again and again.

I wake up (for real) and feel quite odd not to see my spider web festoon above the bed.
Angelina is wailing for attention (at times she wakes up noisily) and even so, I'm drawn to the spot on the other side of the bed where the caramel coloured spider was. Its not there, there is nothing here but my bedroom, and the sweaty skin of a turbulent night.

frost covered webs in my mother-in-laws garden...she sent me these before solstice 2010,    and I thought they were just beautiful :) This is about the look of the webs that were festooned above the bed, but the web there was all one big one, with a funnel coming down to the floor on one side of the bed...

I've been struggling with the presumption that money equals waste. That people with lots of money waste it on crappy things like champagne and clothes, silly parties for their children where they don't interact with them, its all just to impress other people. Wealth isn't that to me, but I'm equating wealthy life with money, and money with wealthy life. And so if I eschew a money filled life I subconsciously fulfill my own sense of integrity, in a very fuqd way. Subconscious sabotage of the Wealth manifestation. I kill that caramel coloured spider just because its not 'pure white', and I'm even slightly worried about integrity too.
Webs are significant and that they are so big is also significant. I feel like I  am in a constant state of creation, preparation, action and yet not completing things. It all looks beautiful, but its busy and time consuming. I want to get to the place where the spider finishes her web, sits back to catch a few flies to feast on, and mate with the next available male that wanders around. ;]

The new mantra for 2011 for Chinut

This is taken from Mystic Medusa's Thrive Guide for 2011...she's brill :)
As an Aquarian, Scorpio Rising...I just need as much hoodoo as I can functionally take in and utilise. Anyone got some spare memory banks for a brain?

What are we, ... really.

I've come through an amazing few months of intense busyness.

On the face of it I've been plugging away, using my knowledge and insight, my talent and ability to produce 'work' that other people find valuable. This is all good. Below, inside, where the blood flows. synapses snap and the sparkles are hidden, there's been a lot going on.

Seems we're all trying to find out what we are here for, who we are, what we 'need to do', 'how to' get ahead, avoid this or that, get this or that, accomplish, succeed, survive, thrive. And some of us just want a day with a decent pot of tea and some grass to walk on.

Being an Aquarian I do love to source Knowledge and be the source for anyone else.
Being a Rat I love to accumulate and look after my family as I perceive 'family' to be. Rats are pretty sociable.
If I was to psycho analyse (oh heaven forbid) myself, with regard to what I know of these celestial associations, I may intimate that my need for information and the subsequent storing of it, 'hoarding' would be more correct, is directly related to the birth connections of the galaxy I am in.

Thinking more on that I'd expect my Mind to trip into the scientific aspects of 'life on earth' and reason that we are the only known conscious life form around these parts...and what is it about Earth that is special enough to hold us so lovingly in her arms?, so far in space, so cold 'outside' and yet here we are, warm in her embrace. "A powerful Force of Love is keeping us here" said Daniel Vitalis in his latest talk about Water and its significance on this planet, and its molecular make up that is present throughout 'space' as we know it. ("It's Life, Jim..." etc) He gave a good summary of the miracle of our existence, all associated with Water. It made me ponder the effort I put into 'the business', and the connections to quite desperate people that come from those associations.

And so it goes round. The swing from hoping fervently that life is not as futile as I feel it to be, to great euphoria and blissful contentment from just viewing a leaf outside. I think I'm feeling resonances from other people's disappointment, despondency, lack of direction and such. It doesn't feel like it comes from me...I don't 'like' that way of thinking, and it seems like my head is getting invaded with sentences and phrases of utter helplessness. I get angry and I rail at it. That kind of defeatest talk gets my blood going, makes my eyes water and my heart sore too. I have the guiltiest feeling of considerable elistism too. I despise a weakness, a perceived weakness, but, I despise it in myself just as fervently as I do in others. I guess that's where the compassion grows from. One day I hope it takes over.

I wrote in my diary today 'Do you act like the foods you eat' thinking I'll do a blogpost about factory food and processing etc for HTC..., but what I think I meant was, 'Do I resonate what I consume?'
Has this scryingfest of the last few months made me resonate a frequency of doubt and solution searching? is there a layer of fear in this kind of behaviour? do I even want to do it anymore??

Happy 2011,.. whoopee.
Looking forward to Clarity, Integrity, Release and Abundance in Beautiful Forms.
:)
Life's good really. Life's great actually. Beautiful children, connections to great people, loving family, stimulation, ascension :) and all the things that make a life 'go on'.

Lack of Sleep and The Life of Brian

Seems only strange chorus like messages come through at the right time, with this latest installment floating in after a very sleepless, hallucinating night of weird thoughts, dreams, nightmares and what-have-u...
Finally after a day of 'catching up' with health, and feeling somewhat downright odd, I get to have a warm shower, and *wow* all by myself after, *wow* having dinner made for me too!! Sacre Bleu an' all that. I haven't been ill for ages and this kind of 'glandy' 'flu-ish' feeling is really not not not welcome...I have babies to look after and 'things to do' and generally, I don't want to be ill, and and and...(you see where my thoughts were hey?)
So I'm in a little pit of despondency and self-pity, under a very warm shower, and in floats...

'When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't give up, just give a whistle!
and soon you'll see things turn - out - for - the - BEeeeeeeeeessssssssssttt....
And...
Always look on the briiiiiight side of life...*whistle-whistle, whistle whistle whistle whistle*
Always look on the briiiiiight side of life... (and so on etc)

oh Monty Python...you so rock
:)

My Groovy new Draft Guards :)

This is one of the groovy things I made to help out during Winter this year. Really HATE cold drafts in houses when the weather is 'blurk!' and you want to feel cosy. When we moved into this new house I was amazed at how the wind howled through the door, when it was closed...

I put up with it last year, but not this year!

And so, I made a couple more for the other doors too :)

The Front Door has a beautiful Gold Shiny one....

And the back door has a Magic one with witch's hats, toads, wands, crystal balls and stars and things on it...

Cool hey? well, actually warming really...

I used some scrap material, a bit of cheap wadding, some old lined calico for the backing, and filled them up with beanbag beans. Very quick to make and I feel so accomplished also. Gave them a good dosing of Clove Oil to keep ze wittle bugsy wugsies out of the house as well...smelled so good ! :)

Hummingbirds and cloud messages...

For the last few months I've been seeing Humming birds in the clouds, on t-shirts, as figurines in shops etc etc etc, but mostly they've been messages in the clouds. The last time this kind of portent came in so strongly was when I was seeing Dragons in clouds,....for years!

so, anyway
Humming Birds are a flightly tiny, industrious, beautiful kind of thing. I love their 'hummmmmmmmmmmm', the vibration, the resonance of their existence, so I was aware I was receiving a message of some sort 'from the universe' when I began to take notice of the reoccurrence of this little being in all these clouds all the time. I loved this website about the Hummingbird animal totem's message...

This flying pattern also has meaning for us. So often, we find ourselves stuck in time: lost in regret about or longing for the past, or hoping (often without much true hope) that the future will be better, hanging our dreams on a distant cloud.

Hummingbird shows us how to re-visit the past for the purpose of releasing it instead of being caught in a permanently backward flight pattern. It also helps us to see that if we step aside we may see our life differently.

Hummingbird teaches us to transcend time, to recognize that what has happened in the past and what might happen in the future is not nearly as important as what we are experiencing now. It teaches us to hover in the moment, to appreciate its sweetness.

Hummingbird tells us to drink deeply of the nectar of life.

And yes, it was very pertinent to my life.

When I took the kids up to Mt Tamborine's Gallery Walk, the first shop we stopped in had an array of 'beautiful things', and Charlie picked up..you guessed it, a crystal hummingbird sun dazzler... :)

Wealth Perceptions

What is wealth to you?

I've spent so much time helping people increase their Wealth Opportunities using Feng Shui, and Law of Attraction/Law of Resonance, that it sometimes clouds my own perception of wealth.

Then I come home, and I see my children, and I sleep in my bed, drink some wine, eat good food, and wander out into a private and healthy backyard, and you know? I know I'm wealthy regardless of what the balance is on my credit card ;)

These things mentioned above will always be my wealths. These things keep me healthy, connected, Here and Now, and that's most important. Trust me...I've seen people in mansions, with successful businesses, and they haven't had an ounce of Happiness in their lives. Its tragic to see the imbalance, and quite a challenge to bring Harmony to places and people like that. Nothing is impossible to improve though.

When I look back on all that has happened, where I was, the progress, the travel, the upheaval and the resettling...it's all been helping me achieve the Me I am now. Would I be Me if it weren't for all these experiences? nup! I'd be another version of Me...and you never know, I might have an 'aversion' to that version :)) Ah hah...oh beautiful and sanity saving humour. Where would we be without humour?! dead probably. Not being melodramatic, but at times, whoa...at times I'd really considered it far to hard to keep on dealing with...this 'human' thing that I'm in with this existence. But then, rationality comes back in, and I know I chose to be here to learn something really fantastic, so I need to hang around and enjoy my family more, my interests more, and my life more, because without being 'in it' I won't find out why its so good.

Something most profound came to me the other day regarding Wealth...it popped into my Mind and said in a big loud voice full of compassion..."TRANSCEND THE MATTER!!!".

I did sit there kind of stunned with the simple enormity of what I'd been given. Transcend this physical, enjoy the magical, enjoy the spiritual and emotional aspects of this life, and just you know, 'get into it!' :)

Magic Earth

Magic is something that gets a bit of a flippant response or a fearful response, but I've never had a connection to it like either of those.
Magic to me is about the natural connections we see all the time, and we usually take for granted.
The beauty of plant cells replicating, using the sun and water to just increase in mass...its amazing to me.
The chemistry, physics, biology and more contained in this one representation of Magic is astounding. :) Science is not a way of debunking Magic, but rather a way of helping us understand HOW things are working, and why they've astounded us in the first place. The human body is just as magical. We've got all that Psychology going on too, and the etheric energy body is only now being 'studied' by science, because, well, its just so damn interesting!

I think mainstream science will catch up with the pioneers in time. As usual. As always. Something radical is not always looked upon favourably, but then, years later we look back and give those low whistles, and the sage-like shakes of the head and utterances like 'if only we'd taken more notice of what they knew back then...'

I hope that as a world we can learn to future think enough to take notice of the radical pioneers of 'science' that are working and establishing NOW, and acknowledge the Magic they are explaining to us.

What I've become

Hello again dear blog xxx

Well, a lot has been happening since we last connected. I read a few of the old posts and see that I was slightly fixated with red wine and magic. Which is all good, in moderation for the first and in excess for the second.

I went through a massive 9month stint of not drinking ANYTHING, and walking each day, mantra, Kirtan, meditation etc. All good for the Mind, Body and Spirit. Then, at the end, to save my marriage, my friendship, my relationship, my family, ...I involved myself again, and seeing as I am 'ms fertility', the result is Angelina Petal. Freaked me out no end, but, I do so honestly believe, in all my heart, that things happen for a purpose, so I took a few months to go through the twists and turns of 'how the bloody hell am I going to do this!', and, 'why is this happening NOW????!', and came to a Peace.
I came to a strength too.
I came to realise I had friends, and those friends were and invaluable source of strength in their own right, but encouraged my own sense of power too.

So now, dear blog, I am more powerful from a most powerful experience, that I am guilty of not talking to you about. The waterbirth, at home, of my third child, Angelina Petal :)

Pics coming soon :)
Promise! :)

Whao! back again!

The view from my new herb garden pot. We buried Angelina's placenta in here and things grow fantastically! :)

Yegodz...has it been so long!? Apologies oh little blog. I didn't mean to neglect you so. I've been ever so busy being kept awake for the last year or more with this little baby, and the children...and we began Home-ed again last year...so I've been you know, just flat out... Soz. ;(

If its at all an excuse, I've been working at this new business...keeping it going and getting ahead a bit. We've moved again, this time to Eagleby near Beenliegh. The nieghbours at Ormeau were repulsive. Smoking, swearing, verbally abusing their small children, and the house, mon dieu...the house. SO many spiders, so close to the other houses...so blaaaghhhh. Big, new, spacious etc...but drafty, ill-designed. The feng shui of it was not overcomable with ANY of the tricks and tweaking I know about...and trust me, I know about a LOT of them.

So, over the next few weeks, I'll fill you in all about the new developments...the children had to be formally registered for Home-ed, so I'm 'in process' with that now. I feel like I want to completely turn around everything and change it all, business, home-life, everything.

Anyway. Stay tuned.

xxx!

I love my cool green page.
Its been so long since I put a post up. Partly this is due to baby being very demanding, and the time I DID get in front of the computer was used to find our new house, pay bills, or run the business. Writing sort of got sidelined, which is such a shame 'cause I find it cathartic, and inspiring and plain useful.
Our new home is great. Big, spacious, kind of echoey until we put the carpets down,...but all good. The toilets have exhaust fans in them that come on automatically, which is the only downside we experience, and one that Wil commented on the other day. He chose to pee in our ensuite loo during the day so he doesn't have to put the light on. Natural urinating is important to our boy...
The grass has no big ants. This is one major plus as I can put bubby down on the grass and she can rip the blades out with her little bitty toes. It goes all over the change table then, but I just love her face when she's gripping the grass and sucking in big happy breaths through her gummies, utterly satisfied with a big dose of earth energy vibes. :)
Charlie is looking forward to her own room and has decked out the 'playroom' in readiness for her 'move' when Wil can be happy sleeping in the middle room with baby.
Rob and me are looking forward to this too. I think we disturb her sleep sometimes, and I know she disturbs mine. But would I lie awake if I thought I'd heard a noise from the other room? Will I end up tip toeing through the hallway to 'check' on her three times a night? Ah, the questions of parenthood...

so now with all this good stuff coming my way, I am very hopeful of a happy stay here. The gum trees are all about. I woke up to birdsong this morning without the background of heavy vehicle traffic. It was lovely.
I think I could seriously go even further rural if the opportunity arose. I see a galvanised roof and warbling maggies in dawn light, frost on paddock grass, and slow moving cows moving up from a misty billabong.
It'd be grand wouldn't it.
:)

Pumpkin on my shoulder

and other interesting titles...

Its funny how many interesting titles float past the mind when babies are in the house. I've had several titles for posts that have never been written because I just didn't get the time.
There was 'the joy of sparkly nail polish' or 'raiding your eight year old's cosmetics'.
'No, its not poo on my shirt cuff....I've had curry'.
Sorry to say the mind is like a sieve and the whole episode has completely escaped me now...

And now. Pumpkin on my shoulder. Sing it in the frame of that song 'teardrops on my shoulder, make me happeeeeee'
We've also been singing 'Pooooo glorious Pooooooo, smelly, runny and glugggeeeeee'
(food glorious food from Oliver!)
Then there's been the classic....
'BUM FREE! as free as the wind blows, as free as the POOOOO flows, as free as can BEEEEEEEE'. (born free)

Certifiable eh. Its all very poo oriented, but parenting is like that...no one lets you know that after you have a baby you CAN (and will) have a 3 hour conversation about the bowel movements of your child...and you think its completely ok to talk about it too...
;[

"Daddy's afraid of the lightening behind your eyes"

Had another dream.

This one was about a little girl child, who was my child, and we were laying down on the grass beside a road, like the footpath grass edge with an old telegraph pole near to where we were. Thing was, we were near a road in a suburb like Holland Park, so even in my dream, the dreamer me was sort of nervous about being so close to a road with a little child. She would have been about two, and had that light blonde curly hair that toddlers have. Very adorable.

As we were laying down, twiddling toes, enjoying sunshine, looking at clover flowers and dandelion heads, she looks up at my face. We are very close, and she bends her face in towards my face, so we are nose to nose. I smile back at her, and then she comes out with, "you know, you have lightening behind your eyes"

I say 'hmmmm? yes?....I know. I do"

Then she says, "it looks like bursting fireworks"

"really?, are you afraid of it?"

She just stares back at me without expression, just watching me.

I say, "you don't have to be afraid of it... it's just energy inside me, like Reiki energy"

Then she says with her head down, eyes examining a clover bud, "Daddy is afraid of the lightening behind your eyes...." she looks back up at my face for a reaction.

"noooo...Daddy knows what it is too. its alright, Daddy's not afraid of Mummy"

And then we keep on chatting and I swing her up so she is sitting on my shoulders, and we begin to very slowly plod up the steep hill on the footpath. One foot very slowly after another....I assume we are on our way home.

Any time spent with children alone is like this. Its magical and singular and solitary and sacred. They just effortlessly bring out the best of Life.

Flying eels and caveman parenting

Another dream of rare quality...

This dream was kind of in two parts. One part dealt with this fantastic 'observational' system.
In the dream, there was this room, like a museum auditorium, where there had been constructed a 'prehistoric cave', with fossils and fake charcoal and everything. It even had 'observational windows' up high along one side, and one could imagine the wax worked 'cavemen' that had once stood around, glass eyes reflecting light, with their prominent brows and determined expressions. However, now, the cave was used for a behavioural experiment/exercise for men from the ages of say about 16 to over 30, and young children from toddler age to say 6 or 7. The exercise was to put say two or three young males in with the toddlers and watch them interact in the wonderland of clay, rocks, mud, sticks, bones and other glorious 'get dirty and hurt oneself' objects! The object of the exercise was that the young males' only requirement was that whatever behaviour was displayed, they were to be able to deter or avoid the children from hurting themselves, or others in the group. This was pretty much their only obligation, their only responsibility.

Beautifully, in the dream, the young males got so into the kid's games that they took their shirts off and got covered in clay and crap and completely forgot they were being observed. Grins were the same from adult or child. It was great! I think the Purpose of the exercise was to reconnect these males with their ability to 'parent', which is essentially the ability to play and direct and interact with children. The funniest part to me was that the 'mums' were able to watch all of this unobtrusively from a specially designed cafe behind one way glass. Fab. Capuccino and chaos, in a controlled environment.

The other part of the dream, or perhaps it was a later dream, or an earlier dream, ... (! hell, I don't know! I've been dreaming ALL the time lately) was to do with intensely blue eyes looking to find me while I waited at a bus stop, flying eels (uh huh, REALLY, and big eels too...multicoloured ones) with advertising banners, the suburb of Springwood, and treetops,...and the practice of cycling home and then dismounting to do a good long run whilst kicking a custom made 'puck' made of revolutionary rubber...
oh and a friend of mine from highschool was having a reunion, but he was either brain damaged or in extremely early stages of Alzhiemers and no one could really communicate with him, so it was odd. And it was the case where most other people were ambivalent about his condition or completely unaccepting of the reality of how different he was, and it was all very confusing....
So maybe this was the 'dream' that made no sense, because it was the one closest to when I needed to get out of bed and, of course, go to the loo.

Baby has been VERY active lately. And the little darling is getting the hiccups more than once a day now. I kind of shudder every 20 to 30 seconds for a minute or two. Odd.

Baby news

Got a Doula
For those of you who do not know what a Doula is, she is a woman who traditionally helps another woman give birth. They can be a innocuous as someone who 'provides support' to a birthing woman while being attended to by a midwife or 'doctor', or she can be full on, involved, doing the actual birthing stuff WITH the woman who's having the baby. Cool.

I think I'll leave it a few more weeks to let my sigh of relief fully reverberate around every part of me and then I'll write some more. :)

Due date is April 11th and I'm feeling good.

and now the bruising fades

This is the picture of 'Love' water...

Been a bit of a week since I wrote that post.

Had a migraine. Got the bruised brain feeling. All crap, all for a reason.

Got some sad news and cried.

Worked through it. All crap, all for a reason, whatever...

Had some lovely hugs from my Angel though. Really felt the cuddles you know?