and now the bruising fades

This is the picture of 'Love' water...

Been a bit of a week since I wrote that post.

Had a migraine. Got the bruised brain feeling. All crap, all for a reason.

Got some sad news and cried.

Worked through it. All crap, all for a reason, whatever...

Had some lovely hugs from my Angel though. Really felt the cuddles you know?

Life is Going On

Ah, it's been so long.
The last week or so has been a time of meeting deadlines, obligations, and completing tasks left too long in the 'got to get to that' brain file. Feels good to actually fulfill obligations, but even better to wake up without them.
I've re-edited the Bach Essences Cards....finally.
Did a consultation and report.
Managed to make my antenatal appointment, and visit my sister.
Today I remembered to get to a doctors appointment after getting Rob to the govt stationers to get his books for his new business being set up this week...phew. Then organised his prelim doc, paint for the office, letters for his sign, and come home to make 'phonecalls'. Aren't we just very busy and important....

good shit

unlimited ultimate perfection easily

What it is, is the message communicated to me a couple of days ago regarding a problem I've been trying very hard to solve. I have been suffering with a dermatitis for years, on and off, feeling that even though it was a physical symptom, I could access it's 'release' by addressing the emotional and/or spiritual issue that triggered it.
After pretty much years of doing just this, I am pretty much out of any other things that I can readily think of to 'address'. So I had a long chat with myself. I said " Look, it's gotta stop, I can't take it anymore". And then - 'fffffffffff' in comes the little message above.
To me this meant something quite oblique, because I had used these words in affirmations regarding healing myself etc., but this time it unlocked it for me.

I have to use the spiritual to direct the physical.

So damn simple I almost cried. I've of course done this a hundred and one different ways, but not in the way that seems to be working now. :)
I've used meditation in a very directive way. I direct my body to stop detoxing via my skin, and only work efficiently through my kidneys and bladder, stomach/liver and intestines, to remove any toxic build up via excrement and urine. That's it. That's all I'm doing , and it's got results in one day. I'm directing my body to release the pressure on my skin by only detoxing via the internal organs and removing waste via my urine and excrement. (lets's just say that all together for effect - excrement)

So 'my body now detoxifies itself via my internal organs, removing the majority of waste via my urine and excrement'. It's so simple to remember and easy to say in the mind. :) I'm inputting things like 'my body is balanced and works efficiently in all ways' as well. Feels good!

One more time with just as much feeling

This photo just so deserves a second posting don't you think? :)

Oh sweeeet synchronicity!

Ahw it's a great great thing when stuff comes together in a positive way.
Last year I had a tax agent prepare my tax return incorrectly, and it was causing a few headaches this year for me. So after TWO DAYS of trying to sort it out by myself with the help of the ATO I was at a point where I couldn't complete my return for this year, and I was possibly going to be up for a penalty fine from last year (which wasn't my bloody fault). Finally, I get to 'the helpful person' at the ATO and he explains that I really must go back to the tax agency and get them to ammend the previous return and sort it out.
'so do I have to pay them to do this?'
'I'm sorry, I'm unable to say what they may charge you for this' says the ATO 'helpful person'.
Great.
Off I go, make the appointment with tax agency who don't know what they're doing. My confidence in them to fix this is not high.
I front up to the appointment, but happily, as a course of 'how the universe works in strange and positive ways....', I have completely OD'd on Rescue Remedy because of the nausea from the pregancy, and am more Zenned than a Zen Monk. I am just like SO Zen. I AM Balance. I AM Calm. I AM Invincible, and all the world shall bow to my requests....

Ding-dong agent goes through the motions of excuses etc. 'I think last year they did X and Y to just save you money....' 'I think they were trying to make it simple and easy for you...'
Yeah, nice and simple. Two days of stress and worry and eurrgk. Gee, thanks. So he finishes the ammendment and says quietly without any kahunas at all...'um, I'll er just charge you $85 for that...'
I sit. In total Zen I say quietly.
'You're really going to charge me for that?'
And the pitiful wall falls. He says mumblingly, 'oh, alright, um yeah, it's ok, um I won't argue with you...we'll just leave it....'
Then a little chit chat ensued with him reiterating what a great deal he'd offered, and me reiterating that he could have got the full amount last year and this year if they'd done they're job properly. Very quietly though. Very calm.
So wonderful wonderful. For 85 bucks I'd expect a full therapeutic massage goddammit.

And the refund for that network company came through too. I will never do that again. So all's good. "Back to Norman", as the RugRats say...

Red Moon Eclipse Magic

During the week we had a full eclipse of the Moon and it turned a beautifully sacred shade of red, obtained a very overt 'spherical' appeal, and just made me feel queasy, but nice queasy....or that could have been a protein overload and sugar low due to the pregnancy....

however...

the real thing is that it produced a lot of 'aligning' energy.

Things just 'lined up' for a lot of people. (see Mystic Medusa's comments page here)

My own experience was quite groovy too.

I named my consultancy Holistic Therapy Connections with the intention that one day I might be able to run a boutique kind of advertising for practitioners of natural, traditional or alternative therapies, who were, like me, combining subtle therapies to produce long term health and progression. During the week prior to the eclipse I spoke with one of my sisters again about this concept and how I'd love to attract some interested people to advertise in the MiniZine now that I feel it has matured into a 'good enough' e-publication to access people who are specifically interested in this kind of healing.

The night of the eclipse I get a phonecall out of the blue from a lady in Victoria looking to obtain some advertising for her husband who is a holistic healer and will be running some workshops up here soon. And yes, could they pay me for an advertisement in the MiniZine?

Why yes, of course you may. :)

Then my teacher sends out her email regarding the 12 month sabbatical she is taking next year to write her book, and directs her entire mailing list (3000+ worldwide) to sign up for my MiniZine so that they can get 'more in-depth Flying Stars knowledge than I myself have ever gone into'. Well yay Carole. I've been a busy girl since. It also is just beautiful to have this boost to my mailing list so effortlessly. Effortless progression. Love it love it love it.

I love the Universe and the way it all works. So very cool baby.

And, I've made a gem essence using a gorgeous Elestial Quartz that had grown on a matrix of natural Citrine, and added a little Black Tourmaline as well. Matured over 5 nights of the Full Moon (2 nights before the Full and 2 nights after...) with the Mother Elixir made with Vodka to promote that clear clear clear pearly Moon energy. It just felt right...and it will be able to get used in room sprays as vibrational 'lifter, clearer, and nourisher' as it won't have the smell of Brandy, which is usually what the essences are made on.

It's currently being supercharged by a hexagonal matrix of Clear Quartz points, Reiki'd often, and sent some lovely healing, 'full-of-gratitude' kind of thoughts all the time too. It is so loved. :)

Phwoooaaarrrr rating

Real men wear red capes and leather knickers.

I base this observation wholly and solely upon viewing '300' and the depiction of King Leonidus by Gerard Butler.

He gets a 'Phwoooaaarrrrrrr' rating, plus a 'Ggrrrrrllllllllllllllllllll' too....just for good measure. (that's the character of Leonidus, not Gerard although he's quite delicious, he will change, but Leonidus will always be here for us)

The film is FANTASTIC and the cinematography, effects, etc., justify the 'epic' feel of it all. Great stuff. go get it. now.

Even with the blood, gore, 'death themes' (that's a new one for movie warnings isn't it?) and the inevitable end, I thoroughly got into this movie and the characters. So well done. LOVED the Queen of Sparta and her parting remark to her political rival. Very cool. And Xerxes, the conquering King of Persia, and invader of Sparta and Greece, is made to appear supremely awesome. Lots of great manflesh to admire all the way through, with Spartan soldiers abounding as the main characters, and even our own David Whenam (or is it Wenham? heeheheh) beefs up to become a totally believable warrior dude with impeccable Shakespearean delivery. Impressive stuff. you will enjoy.

Ah huh.

' Sometimes a little dim...'


Ah, so now it all makes perfect sense.



The week or so of 'klutzville' that I encountered. Leaving the air conditioner on all day while I was out (entering the house and thinking out loud "gee, I wonder why it's so warm in here....?"), the bumps of elbows, hips, bum, ankles, toes, hands, boobs, you name it. The general feeling like I'm in a dream state. The complete denial of the possibility. The steady weight gain in water retention over the last few weeks. An absence of blood and aches. My boobs being swollen and feeling weird.



Yep. I am pregnant with my third baby. And considering that I don't have sex very often (long story) this is a miracle child, like the other two. There are correlations with their conceptions all over the place that are either too personal to write or just don't need to be written,...

yeah...

so yup! baby, on the way. obviously meant to be, so I'm just going with the flow, no resistance, because I don't feel the need to, AND, it would accomplish nothing anyway. Baby is Here. Baby is Now. "hello little pink bunch of cells! Mummy is waving!"



I think if this one is as small as William was, (6lb4oz) and a girl, I'll call her 'Petite'. :)

A ngharshzzlppppppppt moment

Ever had one of those moments, where you are sure everythings going wrong for a very good reason?
Today I decided to vacuum the car out before anything started bearing fruit. I even vacuumed the garage mats first. I noticed the vacuum wasn't sucking as hard as it usually did, so I decided to empty out the poor thing and let it breathe a bit. And wow, when I opened the little sucker up, it was stuffed full of hair and dust and crap. Time to get a plastic bag.
I trudge to the laundry, retrieve bag.
Unclip the little plastic jug and place the lip of the jug over the edge of the bag, so it should all just tip in nicely. er hah.
All of the contents of the jug misses the bag ( how? ) and ends up as a pile on the carpet. oh yay.
But wait! (forsooth!)
What do I see amongst the hair and crap? A screw? a little black screw? like the one I spent a whole morning looking for that is actually a part of my children's Ukelele that has been mysteriously ("I didn't do it Mummy") broken for a week or so????
Why yes, it is.
Oh joy. (happiness ensues)

I fix the Ukelele and tune the little darling thing. My sisterB gave it to my lovely little daughter Charlie as a birthday gift last year, and it's quite dear to us. It's blue with Hibiscus flowers on it. V cute. and Charlie makes up songs with it, so we NEED it. :)

And so ends the tale of happy occurrences and fortunate happenings.

The Most Insane Dream EVER

I'm not into making wild declarations too easily, but this one is correct. The following is a blog about a dream. It involves boobs, strange psychological pregancy associations, cars driving towards you on a road, and IMMENSE frustration. Read on if you dare...

The dream starts with a beach scene. I'm on the beach or at a beach 'hut' on holiday. Various members of my family are around, children, husband, sisters, parents. Milling, drinking juice, playing on the sand, gentle chit-chat going on. I've got this ghastly billowing polkadot halter neck dress on. Must be because it's hot, because its an ugly affair of a dress. Then I notice how big my boobs feel. They are enormous. Big and bloated and swollen, and that's why the dress is on,...'cause the rest of me is sort of bigger too.

"oh shit!" the thought comes to me, the dreamer, that this me, in the dream, is pregnant. And yes! oh dear god! it's true! 'cause I can hear her talking about the 'probably pregnant' me. !! aiieee. Damn, and now we are looking forlorn at a clinic of some sort. A kindly nurse/receptionish type hands me a kind of nice small size shopping bag made out of white shiny card, like the kind of thing you get from Clarins with a free gift of chemicals inside. :)
I open the top and sort through the bizarre arrangement of 'stuff' inside. I'm directed to 'take that' to the clinic (somewhere) down the road, because it will be used for 'the examination'. (like, by fuck, can't you just see I'm pregnant?) I look in the bag again and pull out a strange kind of condom thing. It's huge. like a baby's arm, as the saying goes. And it seems to be made out of the same stuff that old teets used to be made out of. Remember that brown kind of rubber they used to use? Yeah...., like that. Nothing to worry about I'm sure. Pop it back in the bag and get it over with... (yeeek)

So now the me in the dream is sort of resigned to have 'the examination' at 'the clinic' and gets into a car to drive down there. But no, could not be that simple to get this awful thing over and done with. All the cars on the road I have to drive down are pointing at me.
No.
I'm not on the wrong side of the road, but all these cars, mostly white sedans and a few utes, are all ahead of me a way down the road, and I can't tell if they're stationary or not, but they are heading right at me. Each time I check I find that yes, I AM on the right side of the road. So why aren't the cars moving over!? I keep going and going in my car. I'm determined to do this and get back to the beach holiday! But each time I go to drive 'down the road' these cars are in the way.

Finally, this part of the dream fades out. I'm back on the beach in a deckchair but completely naked. Not a stitch on. Boobs are enormously swollen, everybody is milling around doing the chat and drink and eating or looking after the BBQ. Nobody pays the naked me any attention at all.
I ask my husband to grab me a dress 'because I feel like I need a dress honey'. He gets a dress. He stands in front of me showing off the various attributes of the dress he's picked out for me. The cut of the sleeves. The cut of the neckline and 'feel that cool fabric Nette...'. Just odd. So I put the dress on and I'm pulling it over my enormous swollen breasts and I look around at me, the dreamer me. I sort of raise my eyebrows and I distinctively get, 'so here we go again'.

A couple of days later I'm telling one of my sisters about this dream and she nearly coughs herself silly because she had a dream about a little dark blue car trying to get through all this traffic but it was fighting it's way against the flow of cars. It was going through the cars, like it was on the 'wrong side of the road' she says, but it was just pushing on, like it had a mission.
I have a dark blue car. And we dreamt these dreams on the same night.

Cool huh.

Free 3 card reading, I love it

http://www.salemtarot.com
The Salem Witches' guide to Tarot with free online Tarot readings, Tarot decks, Tarot postcards, Tarot card history, and live Tarot readers

At times I can be a guidance junkie. At other times, I coast. :) it's all good, I'm moving in and through phases. Undulating is a word that has been circling for a while now. I'm 'undulating' through life. Nice. :)

Attack Geese

If you've ever thought about getting an alternative to an attack dog, I can now thoroughly recommend geese.

Charlie, Will and me all visited my wonderful sister Carmen yesterday for a morning of Tarot, Harry Potter, tea and biccies. Fabulous. All days should be as good...

Then it was off to UQ to show the children The Great Court, and lots of sandstone carving and for them to breathe in the academia. We ate lunch in the IT lounge next to the cafe, and it was warm and lovely. Carmen had said the lake was lovely so we saved the crusts from our sandwiches to feed the ducks. We walked to the lake, through the many steps of the campus, down the hill of green grass. We saw the lake. Ahhhh. How reflective. So many birds.

Wow! look at those swans!

uh-uh.

NOT swans. Geese.

Not to worry, we are far away from them and we can feed the ducks here...

As soon as those winged devils caught wind of a free yeasty lunch, they were over in a flash, like great big bullying kids, honking and yelling at us.

"Give us FOOD! HONK HONK HONK!!!"

And their long sharp beaks, and their little tongues, and big wings, and did I mention their long sharp beaks and insistence on being the only ones served. Actually, they were a lot like blokes in an English pub on a Friday evening at rush hour. All yelling and getting attention, and frankly, just being rude.

Carmen kept a cool head and instructed the children to "Give them ALL the crust!..give them the lot! give it all to them, NOW!" And Charlotte burst into tears and Will freaked out, and my 'intimidation' just made them honk louder and walk towards me. aiee!

So. If you aren't a dog person, don't fear. You can get geese instead.

great sacred geometry site

Lots of info and beautiful 3D sculptures/works of 'ART!'

http://www.shiftingsands.com.au/index.html

New Addictions.

Ah chocolate, how I loved you. Now, I have unsweetened carob on crystallised ginger, and no longer doth I need sweet chocolate....

Had been buying this new nibbly for the FOH workshops I was running, and got heavily into it. Nice. sweeeeet, but not sugary. sweeeeeeeet.

"...don't expect too much..!"

"Hey! You're a funny guy!"

The Dalai Lama spoke in Brisbane at the BEC yesterday afternoon. He had been on the go since 3:30am fulfilling engagement obligations, and at 72, he's doing very well to hold an audience of around 15000 people for a whole hour or more, nearly 13 hours after he started the day. What a guy...

He began with explaining how happy he was to be here, doing a talk to the public, and then....... he sort of trailed off for a while, repeating that,and probably having his train of thought interrupted by the insane amount of crying and wailing from toddlers and babies in the Centre. Amazing how inconsiderate these parents were not to take the babies outside and calm them. No-one, not even his Holiness, could keep it together and concentrate with that racket going on. (and I'm on the side of the kids here, I think they were correct to be wailing,....loudly, I would as well if I was between zero and five and was asked to sit down anywhere quietly at 4pm!)
Anyway, after a few minutes he got it sorted and made a lovely joke about how old he was and how we shouldn't expect too much. :) His voice went high up and octave or two as he said it, and he was clearly having fun making fun of himself. Lovely.

His message was not about Buddhism, as he clearly said that was his private thing, and he was not going to talk about it; but he spoke on humanity issues, of moral education, and of education not being partnered with a religion, but that they should be separated. This then brought in the question of how moral education was to be presented in modern curriculum, and he made several references to how all religious doctrine of any kind is underpinned by similar if not the same moral codes.

He also expressed the concept of 'internal disarmament' of the Self was important, and how that was the starting point for global peace. It also had reference in his answer to a question from the audience regarding how one could forgive someone for grevious harm or grevious doings. He made a point of explaining that the action must be separated from the person who commited that action. As the action will always remain the same, yet the person who did it can change.

"There is a saying....'forgive and forget' ? yes? You cannot forget. If you forget what they did, you have no reason for needing to forgive them anything! How can one forgive something they cannot remember happening!? So remember, and forgive the person, but you don't forget the action..."

I and everyone else thoroughly enjoyed his 'matter-of-fact' attitude. When he was finished talking about something, he would sort of slap his knees, and say something to the effect of 'well that's done! next!'. He was great!

A good afternoon, and a beautiful sunset with the first evening star in a haze of cloud, manifested as we walked out of the Centre to the carpark.

Thankyou your Holiness, it was a pleasure.

When menstruation attacks...

There are a few stupid things to do in life.
One of them is to go shopping for jeans on the first day of menstruation.
This is just silly. Slightly S&M. And very destructive to the ego.
Apart from the pain and the bloating, it's the flouro's and lighting in dressing rooms or change stalls that is just evil. EVIL I tell you...
I lost about 10kg this year so far and was feeling kind of trim and fab. Now I have a gravity induced reality about the state of my body. I know exactleeee where the blubber is. I saw it.

*sigh of resignation*

On the bright side, it has been raining. Here in Queenslaaaaaaaaaaaand, that's just a fab fab thing. :) Dripdropdripdrop. Nyce.

Dylan Moran - May 6 - The Concert Hall

Ah Dylan. You really are a disheveled, drunk Irishman. How very endearing.

The Dylan Moran one man show came to Brisbane over the weekend. He played two nights at The Concert Hall at QPAC (otherwise known as 'the most annoying building on earth) and the fun was had by all.

This guy is profound in his ramblings. I loved how transparent he was.

Obviously loves his wife and children, as he used keen observation for the material of most of his work. Enlightening. And he even did a pretty decent take off of an Australian accent, with a slight speech impediment.

My most memorable insight of the night from him was the analogy of a woman's mind, after becoming a mother, to that of a plate of chips....and of the children's questions being like seagulls. See? Profound.

And Dylan, babe it's no use hiding that sexy bod under the baggy jeans and shirt...we all know what's happening beneath it all.....

what a powerpak of celtic masculinity....

:)

"I attract Large Spontaneous Windfalls of money in Perfect Ways"

That has been in my head for what seems like months now. I had a lovely experience with it a few weeks ago when I noticed that the person who had rang me to say they couldn't get to their appointment, and so asked me to give their appointment time to their mother and then booked another time, and then bought the gift voucher etc...

well,

I looked at my diary and noticed that I had written this woman's address in a page that was a week 'behind', basically the wrong page. BUT. where I had written her details in was where I had also written 'I attract spontaneous windfalls of money" :) he he he...I love it.

Connections are never coincidences....

Alright already with the abundance and success!

SHeesh! ask for a little help and get bloody inundated!

:))

but I LOVE it. I LOVE my job.

Driving home from a consultation in the middle of the day, birds singing, sun shining, my bag full of charts to interpret and floorplans to ponder. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Bliss.

Today, I had an appointment to give a Reiki treatment. The lady rings me up two hours beforehand and says she can't make it. :( but! :) she then asks me to go to her place anyway, as arranged, and give the treatment to her mother in law. Cool.

Then she arranges another appointment for her next week.

Then she asks if I do Gift Vouchers.

(why yes, in fact I DO............)

So from going down to a zero, I come up to a total income three times what I was expecting. Not bad at all...

and to top off the day, I have an enquiry for another consultation.

Believe me. It's all good.

"I am so supremely grateful for the Divine Synchronicity expressing itself in my Beautiful Life"

my life is beautiful........

I've had an up and down time of it lately, but life is so good still. I have so many things I am grateful for, and the clouds have been looking particularly puffy and luminescent lately.

It's all good.

I saw the moon on Wednesday night and it was hanging just below the evening star. The sky was clouded with smoke haze and gave the moon a different glow, like a kind of bronze-like sheen, below the brilliant white beaming evening star. It looked like a necklace pendant. Just stunning against the sunset sky with the irridescent blue fading into the smokey orange near the horizon. Am I being descriptive enough? This was just so blooming lovely. Equinox first cresent. Nyce.

Charlotte lost her first front top tooth today. We had several doses of Rescue Remedy with Mimulus, and then more talking, a few tears (I'm ok now) and then she had a cry too "because sometimes, *big breath in* I just need to have a cry Muuuuuuuuum", and then she just gave me a running commentary on it's removal as I had to sit outside the ensuite on the bed while she pulled it out. All in all it took about 40 minutes, which is about on par with the last tooth removal. I'm just happier that this one came out in the afternoon and not at 10pm.

Geez I was tired the last time.

I gave myself a big pat for being so patient and kind and not giving up and sending her to bed so she could just suck it out in her sleep............

I also swam with fish today in the tidal pool at Biggera Waters on the Gold Coast. Not much that can't be fixed by a dip with fishies. I feel sunkissed. Invigorated with the saltiness of the sea, and generally very bloody nice.

ee! ah! oo! uh! iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

Just reviewed my statement above about being a target. Now I think I might change it to something less..........um..........violent.

Business has revved up. I have become busier. I have become more sober. I have lost weight and feel better. All successes. Then I have episodes of implosion. is this just a balance of experience? Let's hope so.

So maybe I should state something like,

"I am the focus for all supportive and beautiful energy attracted to my unique frequency signature. Stand me up in the light and let waves of pure abundance wash towards me! I am ready to be supremely wealthy in perfect ways"

Oh how new age. I luv it.

helter skelter

Ok, no, I'm not going through another phase of having continuous hits playing in my head, but this phrase does sorta sum up the last few days.

I went with my sisters (all three of them) to have a photo taken by a wonderful photographer, Chris Osbourne, who is doing a study of several sisters over 10year intervals. This weekend was our 10 year mark. We all went along to his groovy house, talked with him and his groovy partner, enjoyed some fine quality coffee and generally had a rad ol time....
then he showed us the photo,..........the one and only photo, that he'd kept from the last sitting 10 years ago.

We weren't being precious, or pretentious, or overly sensitive, but..........WTF was this man thinking!!!

He had saved the one photo from that whole shoot that we all disliked!
It was violently amazing.
Then I time travelled.

I went back 10 years to a time when life pretty much sucked, but on the 'outside' I was 'doing the right thing' with a steady job, a new husband. Completely fucked in the head at this point now. On the 'inside' at that time in my life I was struggling with 'being' married, massive alcohol and drug addiction (and weaning off another kind of drug), depression, restlessness, dissatisfaction with life in general. DWLIG for short.

So DWLIG came to rest in my being and I had a massive implosion that night. Made my lovely husband reveal his true capacity for affection to me (just shy of nil), scared my children by seeing mummy cry, offended my husband again, apparently offended my mother in law who is staying with us, shocked myself with how 'not in control' I was, .............. but eventually came to rest at 'being proud of being true to my feelings'. Not a bad place to land eh?

The next day wasn't much better with Dear Husband being upset that I could be so selfish and actually give in to my inner feelings. How dare I not be strong and just cope! Sheesh! Put up with a lot of distress from a few directions. Then I cleaned up the kids' room, cleaned up my room, had a day at home and got the newsletter done, and felt accomplished. Then Husband was nasty again, but now he is in 'it never happened' mode.

Let's just leave it there shall we?

xxx

It's the time of year, and with the rain and all, I almost neglected my own flesh and blood to lay in bed with a book. ahhhh. but twas not to be. mother in law coming over an' all. cleaning house. bugger.
She's a lovely woman. But I don't like anyone staying in my house for two whole months. Just irks me. I love the 'guest room' too. It has my cloud watching window. I will have to watch my clouds from the balcony now......

Going out of orbit

I attended my feng shui teacher's annual workshop on the weekend, and for once, I have to say I was not impressed. This is a 'big thing', really, because I have always been impressed with her. Even if she smiles I'm impressed! you know what I mean?

So I am left with this disappointment deep within. This kind of 'end of an era' feeling,............ which on the flipside of the crap critism and guilt and feelings of loss, actually reminds me that new things are therefore coming in. So it's all ok really.....really.

My lovely teacher has been the source of so many inspirations. She emits an 'inspirational field', and I just love her for it. This year she is 'going global' as she puts it. Publishing a holistic feng shui book and distributing a detox product from a global business. Nothing upsetting me at all about any of that, but she did not put as much into this workshop and she overbooked it, so we all missed out on that small intimate connection you get with a dozen people and a teacher.

(covens, Jesus and apostles kind of thing)

The analogy that clearly came up in my mind was of a bright shining comet that we all love to gaze at and that fills us with 'big' thoughts and wonder, then it night by night fades and continues on it's orbit. It's not gone but we just won't get the benefits of watching and wondering anymore,..for a very long time anyway.

She's often been told that her spirit self is 'galactic'. More than one metaphysical interpreter has let her know she is from another star galaxy of this universe. And you know, usually I 'smile and nod' at people when they say this, not because I don't believe them, but because no-one can prove otherwise, and I'm ok with it. (be from another galaxy! see if I care!) With her though, there is just this otherness that so clashes with the human you see before you, and the warmth she has, and the flaws she has.

Ah anyway. End of an era. Bye bye, stay in touch, keep sending me inspiration from my memories. *sigh*

Integrity, and fame, 'n'stuff.....

Just read this on one of my emails this morning and thought it represented the kind of integrity that attracts me to certain people....

"[Coltrane contemporary and jazz musician] Dave Liebman expands the thought: " 'What stays with me about the Coltrane Quartet is an image of them getting up on the bandstand ... completely burning for two hours without a word to anybody, getting off the stage and sitting down like any other person. Not having an entourage around them or anything. Then doing it again, with unpretentiousness, absolute honesty and matter-of-factness. ... I still try to live up to that image: to do your work, to do it intensely, with conviction, and be honest with the music."Ashley Kahn, A Love Supreme, Penguin, 2002, pp. 66, 210.

It's very similar to the way I was amazed by Deva and Mitten and their unannounced entry to the 'stage'. I wish I would have waited back and given them both a big hug, like I would to anyone giving me a mantra session.... :)

Deva Premal in Brisbane 17.01.07

That was just so full on, and wonderful, and uplifting, and quietning, and calming, and nourishing.

Deva Premal concerts are unlike anything ever experienced before.

From the end of the first little interlude she made it clear that we "don't have to, you know, clap.....after each mantra,........because sometimes, after the mantra ends,......you want to just sit and feel the mantra,................so I am like, giving you the night off....." :)

She's lovely. So slight, and strong, and humble and with just the most lovely lovely lovely resonant voice. To begin the concert she and her husband walked on stage unannounced, very quiet, very slowly and then bowed to the audience, hands in the prayer position, receiving the blessing and sending it back out to all of us. Then they just sat down and got their instruments together, spoke quietly to one another, and then she directs us that "we will start tonight with three Ohms".

If you've ever been in a chanting circle, done a toning meditation with others, or something similar (like belonging to a Welsh choir) you will understand the power that's in a resonant chant. Times that by hundreds of people in one auditorium and you have an idea of why I nearly exploded with JOY on the first Ohm. :))

Their accompanying flautist was great too. Very cute.

The concert went over time as it's their first one of the year and they were getting themselves together and they just went with the flow. It was great. Highlight of the night was the Gayatri Mantra which everyone wished was earlier in the night when our voices were stronger. Oh but it does not matter when really, it was always going to be 'the thing' of the concert for me.

Michelle dressed up so nicely that a complete stranger gave her a compliment. She had a black floor length skirt on with a blood red velvet corset...and her hair up in little Teutonic buns, like a mini Princess Leia. :) I was in linen pants and shirt that creased easily. I looked remarkably well matched to the rest of the audience. :) It had to happen sometime.....

Somethunsafoot......

'Water', 'Moon', and 'Rowan'. (top to bottom)

Yes. Well I cleaned up the land of 'spare oom' once again. I seem to be getting drawn to that corner of the house A LOT,.......so best just to give in and do something constructive while I'm hanging about there. Found lots of my old notepads with painfully naive and cringeworthy prose. But some of it I actually like. It's so honest, so I can see past a lot of the angst. (only I would though, anyone else would just think it's shyte....)

Got out a few of my old sketches and scanned in a couple of my dragons. As you can see, I like dragons. And I usually have three or so around at any given time. (virtual or tangible.....)

Chucked a heap of old stuff out that felt real good to get rid of. Sort of like removing 'glug' from my aura. NYYYYYYYYCE.

So here's to a few more sketches being made, a few more reading evenings now that I have my Feng Shui notes in order, and my theory ripe for the picking...

juicy.....

Yep! I'm going 'a chanting'. Yay! :)
So happy I could BURST.
My lovely friend Michelle has come through yet again to be my companion on another spiritual excercise. What a girl. She's even booked the tickets on her card 'cause mine's maxed. What a friend. We've got tickets to see Deva Premal and her lovely husband play at City Hall in Brisbane on Wednesday the 17th.
I must just reiterate.....YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Deva Premal walking on a beach in Maui.

"I luv chanting", that's my new mantra............ :)

I have been listening to Deva Premal for about a year or more now. Didn't know who I was listening to at first until I realised that I 'just LOVED that music', and made it my thing to find out who was singing this great stuff! My Holistic Feng Shui teacher always had it playing in the background at the courses I took.

One of my favourites, or the one I am most connecting with, at the moment is 'Chidananda'.
The lyric is 'Chidananda roopah, shivoham, shivoham'
which translated means ....
'I am eternal bliss, I am Shiva'

All of the lyric (which is quite long and extensive) is to do with accepting one's inherent divinity, by saying that you realise you are not the material self, but the true essence of you is......you, the eternal spirit-soul, the spark of the All.

I like that. :)

The other translations of the chants can be found at....

http://www.mitendevapremal.com/music/lyrics_chords.htm

They are playing at the Brisbane City Hall on the 14th I think. I know it will be sold out by now but if there is a chance that someone has a ticket, I'm there. Really. I'll even give you a lift home. :) !

Namaste, Om Shanti
xx

You know when you have one of those moments when you really do feel that you have just been tipped into a parallel universe where every kind of weird verbal behaviour ever tried out in sketch comedy is coming true?

(Me on the phone to Rob)
"Babe! just went into the accounts to check on the Credit card, and saw that the bank has you overdrawn in your first account!....do you want me to transfer some money into it from your other account?"
(Rob)
"What?"
(Me, again)
"Your direct debit for the car insurance, ....it's put your first account into the red"
(Rob)
"What!?"
(Me)
*getting slightly wary now* "Yeah babe. The first account, the one you use all the time, .......*breathe* it's gone into negative because the insurance for the car has been taken out"
*thinking 'oh dear' to herself*

(Rob)
"Really?"
(Me)
"Yep........."

(Rob)
"..........are you saying it's overdrawn?"
(Me)
"Yeah"

(Rob)
"Ok then babe, take out some money from the bottom account..."
(Me)
"You mean the one marked 'bpay and direct debits' ?"
(Rob)
"...nah, the bottom account......."
(Me)
"Rob, the bottom account has a heading that YOU have put on it and it's marked 'bpay and direct debits'! That IS the one you mean right?"

More painfullness ensues, with me shouting sternly down the phone that I WILL NOT shout down the phone at him, and could he PLEASE answer the fricking question!!

Ded set!

Thank goodness he's got that twinkle......it all helps.

The result of wedded bliss...

I've been married for twelve years on the 7th January.
Twelve whole years.
This has me contemplating what it is about my sweet Roberto that has given our marraige it's longevity.

Could it be just because he's got a lovely twinkle in his eye? Maybe it's the fact that he has compatible DNA, and we have as a result, got simply beautiful children.......
I dreamt about Robbie about a year before I met him. I remember writing down the dream because I had it over and over again, and it was SO vivid. So easy to recall and write about.
Then, when I met Rob he wasn't the normal 'type' of guy I would have been interested in. But I remembered the dream, and knew it was him.
And for the first few years of marriage, I did find myself with my head in my hands just wailing 'why am I with this man?'!?
It all got better though.
We had to get better. Ha! :)

Some things are just meant to be. To be enjoyed. Not to be 'understood'.