I love my cool green page.
Its been so long since I put a post up. Partly this is due to baby being very demanding, and the time I DID get in front of the computer was used to find our new house, pay bills, or run the business. Writing sort of got sidelined, which is such a shame 'cause I find it cathartic, and inspiring and plain useful.
Our new home is great. Big, spacious, kind of echoey until we put the carpets down,...but all good. The toilets have exhaust fans in them that come on automatically, which is the only downside we experience, and one that Wil commented on the other day. He chose to pee in our ensuite loo during the day so he doesn't have to put the light on. Natural urinating is important to our boy...
The grass has no big ants. This is one major plus as I can put bubby down on the grass and she can rip the blades out with her little bitty toes. It goes all over the change table then, but I just love her face when she's gripping the grass and sucking in big happy breaths through her gummies, utterly satisfied with a big dose of earth energy vibes. :)
Charlie is looking forward to her own room and has decked out the 'playroom' in readiness for her 'move' when Wil can be happy sleeping in the middle room with baby.
Rob and me are looking forward to this too. I think we disturb her sleep sometimes, and I know she disturbs mine. But would I lie awake if I thought I'd heard a noise from the other room? Will I end up tip toeing through the hallway to 'check' on her three times a night? Ah, the questions of parenthood...

so now with all this good stuff coming my way, I am very hopeful of a happy stay here. The gum trees are all about. I woke up to birdsong this morning without the background of heavy vehicle traffic. It was lovely.
I think I could seriously go even further rural if the opportunity arose. I see a galvanised roof and warbling maggies in dawn light, frost on paddock grass, and slow moving cows moving up from a misty billabong.
It'd be grand wouldn't it.
:)

Pumpkin on my shoulder

and other interesting titles...

Its funny how many interesting titles float past the mind when babies are in the house. I've had several titles for posts that have never been written because I just didn't get the time.
There was 'the joy of sparkly nail polish' or 'raiding your eight year old's cosmetics'.
'No, its not poo on my shirt cuff....I've had curry'.
Sorry to say the mind is like a sieve and the whole episode has completely escaped me now...

And now. Pumpkin on my shoulder. Sing it in the frame of that song 'teardrops on my shoulder, make me happeeeeee'
We've also been singing 'Pooooo glorious Pooooooo, smelly, runny and glugggeeeeee'
(food glorious food from Oliver!)
Then there's been the classic....
'BUM FREE! as free as the wind blows, as free as the POOOOO flows, as free as can BEEEEEEEE'. (born free)

Certifiable eh. Its all very poo oriented, but parenting is like that...no one lets you know that after you have a baby you CAN (and will) have a 3 hour conversation about the bowel movements of your child...and you think its completely ok to talk about it too...
;[

A little Angel

My new little girl, Angelina Petal, at about 7 weeks.
What a cutie eh? :)

"Daddy's afraid of the lightening behind your eyes"

Had another dream.

This one was about a little girl child, who was my child, and we were laying down on the grass beside a road, like the footpath grass edge with an old telegraph pole near to where we were. Thing was, we were near a road in a suburb like Holland Park, so even in my dream, the dreamer me was sort of nervous about being so close to a road with a little child. She would have been about two, and had that light blonde curly hair that toddlers have. Very adorable.

As we were laying down, twiddling toes, enjoying sunshine, looking at clover flowers and dandelion heads, she looks up at my face. We are very close, and she bends her face in towards my face, so we are nose to nose. I smile back at her, and then she comes out with, "you know, you have lightening behind your eyes"

I say 'hmmmm? yes?....I know. I do"

Then she says, "it looks like bursting fireworks"

"really?, are you afraid of it?"

She just stares back at me without expression, just watching me.

I say, "you don't have to be afraid of it... it's just energy inside me, like Reiki energy"

Then she says with her head down, eyes examining a clover bud, "Daddy is afraid of the lightening behind your eyes...." she looks back up at my face for a reaction.

"noooo...Daddy knows what it is too. its alright, Daddy's not afraid of Mummy"

And then we keep on chatting and I swing her up so she is sitting on my shoulders, and we begin to very slowly plod up the steep hill on the footpath. One foot very slowly after another....I assume we are on our way home.

Any time spent with children alone is like this. Its magical and singular and solitary and sacred. They just effortlessly bring out the best of Life.

Flying eels and caveman parenting

Another dream of rare quality...

This dream was kind of in two parts. One part dealt with this fantastic 'observational' system.
In the dream, there was this room, like a museum auditorium, where there had been constructed a 'prehistoric cave', with fossils and fake charcoal and everything. It even had 'observational windows' up high along one side, and one could imagine the wax worked 'cavemen' that had once stood around, glass eyes reflecting light, with their prominent brows and determined expressions. However, now, the cave was used for a behavioural experiment/exercise for men from the ages of say about 16 to over 30, and young children from toddler age to say 6 or 7. The exercise was to put say two or three young males in with the toddlers and watch them interact in the wonderland of clay, rocks, mud, sticks, bones and other glorious 'get dirty and hurt oneself' objects! The object of the exercise was that the young males' only requirement was that whatever behaviour was displayed, they were to be able to deter or avoid the children from hurting themselves, or others in the group. This was pretty much their only obligation, their only responsibility.

Beautifully, in the dream, the young males got so into the kid's games that they took their shirts off and got covered in clay and crap and completely forgot they were being observed. Grins were the same from adult or child. It was great! I think the Purpose of the exercise was to reconnect these males with their ability to 'parent', which is essentially the ability to play and direct and interact with children. The funniest part to me was that the 'mums' were able to watch all of this unobtrusively from a specially designed cafe behind one way glass. Fab. Capuccino and chaos, in a controlled environment.

The other part of the dream, or perhaps it was a later dream, or an earlier dream, ... (! hell, I don't know! I've been dreaming ALL the time lately) was to do with intensely blue eyes looking to find me while I waited at a bus stop, flying eels (uh huh, REALLY, and big eels too...multicoloured ones) with advertising banners, the suburb of Springwood, and treetops,...and the practice of cycling home and then dismounting to do a good long run whilst kicking a custom made 'puck' made of revolutionary rubber...
oh and a friend of mine from highschool was having a reunion, but he was either brain damaged or in extremely early stages of Alzhiemers and no one could really communicate with him, so it was odd. And it was the case where most other people were ambivalent about his condition or completely unaccepting of the reality of how different he was, and it was all very confusing....
So maybe this was the 'dream' that made no sense, because it was the one closest to when I needed to get out of bed and, of course, go to the loo.

Baby has been VERY active lately. And the little darling is getting the hiccups more than once a day now. I kind of shudder every 20 to 30 seconds for a minute or two. Odd.

drip drip drip

Me and Rob with little Charlotte - over eight years ago...

Today it started off raining. I think that I grew up with so much sunshine and blue sky that a day of rain is like,... exciting! but at the same time immensely soothing. My first thought was 'tea....now', and my second was 'the doona is really soft'. :) And then the pull to return to bed and just cuddle up with the blinds open so I could watch the swirling of the thick rain-laden clouds, from the cocoon of my bed. Ahhh..rain.

Somewhat 'womb oriented' thinking you may feel? I'd agree. This baby is giving off a fair bit of psychic energy, and I'm revelling in it. :)

Charlie is not feeling her best, so we are having a day at home. William is helping by bringing her drink of water to her....wherever she is,...to make sure she can get better and play. They are currently on the laptop playing the 'falling fruit' game on the Sali Mali website. (Welsh) They love it. And it is so nice to not be able to hear them playing. It means they're dreadfully 'into it' and concentrating. :))

Baby is due in 2 and a half weeks.
My mind does an amazing warpy thing everytime I conciously realise how close it is, and how soon I will be a Mother to three children. *blink blink* three children. Me! *raising eyebrows* *giving a low whistle under my breath* *shaking head softly* and smiling...

Manose, Deva and Miten at their Sydney concert 08

Lo there all. :)

I've been zenning out with Deva and my nag champa incense. It's been wonderful. Returning to the joy of 'Aud Guray' and the Saraswati song too, it's been so long since I heard them. If you've never experienced the peace of singing along Kirtan style with a chant in sanskrit, then you could be doing yourself a real treat by having a go at it.

Go to this link...

http://www.devapremalmiten.com/music/downloads.htm

and you can download some free music of Deva's and her husband Miten's

Nice hey?

Or if you just want to listen to a bit you can go to this link here...

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=76976874

and just listen to a few of their songs on their Myspace page

I took Charlie to see Deva and Miten in 'concert' a week or so ago in Brisbane. My lovely friend Michelle got all the tickets organised and sorted out, and we were able to get seats near the front. Charlotte said the seats were not very comfortable, and I'd agree with her. I didn't enjoy the evening as much as last year because of the baby kicking SO much and me being a little 'soft hipped' and not wanting to sit for a long time. They kept on playing and playing and singing and singing all the way past 10:30pm. We were knackered but pleasantly so. :) It is a wonderful thing to be in the presence of people like Deva, Miten and Manose (the woodwind and percussion guy), as they just emanated a love of what they do. Calmly. Happily. Joyfully.

Strange Vitamin B induced vivid dream, number.....

no idea what number dream I'm up to actually.

I've been taking Vitamin B supplements as part of the pregnancy, and man, has my brain been having fun with it.

Last night I dreamt that Sinead O'Connor was not only a famous singer and musician, but she was also playing in town and available to do healings if you just rang her up. So of course, I ring her up and request a healing for my skin irritation, and she's all happy and sweet on the phone. In my dream we can see the split screen version of her on the phone to me and me on the phone to her. Of course.
I say something like, 'well I'd like to see you as soon as possible really....'
and she says, 'sure, what day suits you?'
and so I say, 'well Sunday would be great but I think you'd be busy on Sunday morning wouldn't you?' (remembering that she's like an ordained minister in some Christian sideline church, and might be marrying a couple or giving a sermon or something)
She replies that yes, it will have to be another day because Sunday she will be busy. She gives no details.
We end the conversation with smiles and 'see you soons' and other pleasantries.

I then go out to the train station, that is really weird because the overhead bridge is not 'overhead' but across the track. I assume this is just fine and that it tilts up and open like London Bridge does to let the trains come through. Then I see my train arrive and it's on the other platform, so I start to run over the bridge. It doesn't tilt up but the train gets through fine, and I get across fine. Ah the miracles of an unfettered mind.....
The train is pulling lots of carriages of large, hollow, plastic mouldings, and a couple of passenger carriages too. I alight onto one of the passenger ones, and realise that I'm travelling this all with the autistic boy from my daughter's school, except he's about 18 now in the dream and not autistic. He's just kind of blank and quiet.

And so the train begins to move. And I wake up and need to pee. As is the case now that I'm seven and a half months, and I always need to urinate.

Baby news

Got a Doula
For those of you who do not know what a Doula is, she is a woman who traditionally helps another woman give birth. They can be a innocuous as someone who 'provides support' to a birthing woman while being attended to by a midwife or 'doctor', or she can be full on, involved, doing the actual birthing stuff WITH the woman who's having the baby. Cool.

I think I'll leave it a few more weeks to let my sigh of relief fully reverberate around every part of me and then I'll write some more. :)

Due date is April 11th and I'm feeling good.