On the face of it I've been plugging away, using my knowledge and insight, my talent and ability to produce 'work' that other people find valuable. This is all good. Below, inside, where the blood flows. synapses snap and the sparkles are hidden, there's been a lot going on.
Seems we're all trying to find out what we are here for, who we are, what we 'need to do', 'how to' get ahead, avoid this or that, get this or that, accomplish, succeed, survive, thrive. And some of us just want a day with a decent pot of tea and some grass to walk on.
Being an Aquarian I do love to source Knowledge and be the source for anyone else.
Being a Rat I love to accumulate and look after my family as I perceive 'family' to be. Rats are pretty sociable.
If I was to psycho analyse (oh heaven forbid) myself, with regard to what I know of these celestial associations, I may intimate that my need for information and the subsequent storing of it, 'hoarding' would be more correct, is directly related to the birth connections of the galaxy I am in.
Thinking more on that I'd expect my Mind to trip into the scientific aspects of 'life on earth' and reason that we are the only known conscious life form around these parts...and what is it about Earth that is special enough to hold us so lovingly in her arms?, so far in space, so cold 'outside' and yet here we are, warm in her embrace. "A powerful Force of Love is keeping us here" said Daniel Vitalis in his latest talk about Water and its significance on this planet, and its molecular make up that is present throughout 'space' as we know it. ("It's Life, Jim..." etc) He gave a good summary of the miracle of our existence, all associated with Water. It made me ponder the effort I put into 'the business', and the connections to quite desperate people that come from those associations.
And so it goes round. The swing from hoping fervently that life is not as futile as I feel it to be, to great euphoria and blissful contentment from just viewing a leaf outside. I think I'm feeling resonances from other people's disappointment, despondency, lack of direction and such. It doesn't feel like it comes from me...I don't 'like' that way of thinking, and it seems like my head is getting invaded with sentences and phrases of utter helplessness. I get angry and I rail at it. That kind of defeatest talk gets my blood going, makes my eyes water and my heart sore too. I have the guiltiest feeling of considerable elistism too. I despise a weakness, a perceived weakness, but, I despise it in myself just as fervently as I do in others. I guess that's where the compassion grows from. One day I hope it takes over.
I wrote in my diary today 'Do you act like the foods you eat' thinking I'll do a blogpost about factory food and processing etc for HTC..., but what I think I meant was, 'Do I resonate what I consume?'
Has this scryingfest of the last few months made me resonate a frequency of doubt and solution searching? is there a layer of fear in this kind of behaviour? do I even want to do it anymore??
Happy 2011,.. whoopee.
Looking forward to Clarity, Integrity, Release and Abundance in Beautiful Forms.
:)
Life's good really. Life's great actually. Beautiful children, connections to great people, loving family, stimulation, ascension :) and all the things that make a life 'go on'.
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