my life is beautiful........

I've had an up and down time of it lately, but life is so good still. I have so many things I am grateful for, and the clouds have been looking particularly puffy and luminescent lately.

It's all good.

I saw the moon on Wednesday night and it was hanging just below the evening star. The sky was clouded with smoke haze and gave the moon a different glow, like a kind of bronze-like sheen, below the brilliant white beaming evening star. It looked like a necklace pendant. Just stunning against the sunset sky with the irridescent blue fading into the smokey orange near the horizon. Am I being descriptive enough? This was just so blooming lovely. Equinox first cresent. Nyce.

Charlotte lost her first front top tooth today. We had several doses of Rescue Remedy with Mimulus, and then more talking, a few tears (I'm ok now) and then she had a cry too "because sometimes, *big breath in* I just need to have a cry Muuuuuuuuum", and then she just gave me a running commentary on it's removal as I had to sit outside the ensuite on the bed while she pulled it out. All in all it took about 40 minutes, which is about on par with the last tooth removal. I'm just happier that this one came out in the afternoon and not at 10pm.

Geez I was tired the last time.

I gave myself a big pat for being so patient and kind and not giving up and sending her to bed so she could just suck it out in her sleep............

I also swam with fish today in the tidal pool at Biggera Waters on the Gold Coast. Not much that can't be fixed by a dip with fishies. I feel sunkissed. Invigorated with the saltiness of the sea, and generally very bloody nice.

ee! ah! oo! uh! iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

Just reviewed my statement above about being a target. Now I think I might change it to something less..........um..........violent.

Business has revved up. I have become busier. I have become more sober. I have lost weight and feel better. All successes. Then I have episodes of implosion. is this just a balance of experience? Let's hope so.

So maybe I should state something like,

"I am the focus for all supportive and beautiful energy attracted to my unique frequency signature. Stand me up in the light and let waves of pure abundance wash towards me! I am ready to be supremely wealthy in perfect ways"

Oh how new age. I luv it.

helter skelter

Ok, no, I'm not going through another phase of having continuous hits playing in my head, but this phrase does sorta sum up the last few days.

I went with my sisters (all three of them) to have a photo taken by a wonderful photographer, Chris Osbourne, who is doing a study of several sisters over 10year intervals. This weekend was our 10 year mark. We all went along to his groovy house, talked with him and his groovy partner, enjoyed some fine quality coffee and generally had a rad ol time....
then he showed us the photo,..........the one and only photo, that he'd kept from the last sitting 10 years ago.

We weren't being precious, or pretentious, or overly sensitive, but..........WTF was this man thinking!!!

He had saved the one photo from that whole shoot that we all disliked!
It was violently amazing.
Then I time travelled.

I went back 10 years to a time when life pretty much sucked, but on the 'outside' I was 'doing the right thing' with a steady job, a new husband. Completely fucked in the head at this point now. On the 'inside' at that time in my life I was struggling with 'being' married, massive alcohol and drug addiction (and weaning off another kind of drug), depression, restlessness, dissatisfaction with life in general. DWLIG for short.

So DWLIG came to rest in my being and I had a massive implosion that night. Made my lovely husband reveal his true capacity for affection to me (just shy of nil), scared my children by seeing mummy cry, offended my husband again, apparently offended my mother in law who is staying with us, shocked myself with how 'not in control' I was, .............. but eventually came to rest at 'being proud of being true to my feelings'. Not a bad place to land eh?

The next day wasn't much better with Dear Husband being upset that I could be so selfish and actually give in to my inner feelings. How dare I not be strong and just cope! Sheesh! Put up with a lot of distress from a few directions. Then I cleaned up the kids' room, cleaned up my room, had a day at home and got the newsletter done, and felt accomplished. Then Husband was nasty again, but now he is in 'it never happened' mode.

Let's just leave it there shall we?

xxx